Submitted to JungleWatch
If she was making dance-like movements, I am certain she was not putting on a dance performance or doing a “TikTok” in the middle of my father’s funeral Mass. She is a 12-year-old child who was grieving, helping watch her baby sister, and moving around near the back of the church. Children do not always sit completely still, and they process grief and emotions differently from adults.
What happened was deeply upsetting and, in my opinion, completely inappropriate. My granddaughter was publicly embarrassed in front of everyone during an already painful and emotional day for our family. She was humiliated, became extremely upset, and left crying because of the way she was singled out.
This was my father’s funeral Mass—a time when our family needed compassion, comfort, understanding, and pastoral care. I struggle to understand how publicly humiliating a 12-year-old child, especially during her great-grandfather’s funeral, reflects the teachings of Jesus Christ. The Church should be a place where people, especially children, feel welcomed, loved, and safe—not shamed or made to feel that they do not belong.
She was standing in the back, helping watch her 1-year-old sister and looking at the memorial boards honoring her great-grandfather. Even if Father Leon Guerrero believed her behavior was distracting, there were compassionate and respectful ways to address the situation without interrupting a funeral Mass and publicly calling out a grieving child.
No child should leave a church feeling humiliated, rejected, or as though she was being told she did not belong there. Jesus welcomed children with love and compassion. As Catholics, I believe our actions toward others, especially children and grieving families, should reflect those same teachings.
What should have been a sacred and comforting final farewell to my father is now also remembered as the moment my granddaughter was publicly embarrassed during his funeral Mass. I cannot understand how that was necessary, compassionate, or acceptable.
Fr. Pat Castro at St. Jude Church in Sinajaña is the same way. There’s a limited seating area in the atrium of the church that’s reserved for families with children. If you’re in the main church and your child is just being a child, they have volunteers of the church that will ask you to move to the atrium if Fr. Pat stopping his homily to stare at you and make it obvious you’re the reason for his pause doesn’t embarrass you enough to move.
ReplyDeleteI get it. But if you've ever done public speaking, it's distracting and destabilizing when people are getting up, roaming about, or (in this case) kids are playing around. Kids SHOULD be in the Church, and the homilist should not embarrass them publicly for acting as kids do... but we have to find a middle ground where parents are accountable for keeping a basic level of decorum with their kids appropriate to the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Padre Pio yelled at parishioners when they even talked in the Church (regardless if its during Mass)--and he did it publicly.
ReplyDeleteI raised 11 children and took them all to Mass from Day 1, including two special needs sons. I wrote an article for the Post detailing how my wife and I handled this. I'll post the link. However, the real issue is that our priests generally do not take the time to teach Mass-going etiquette, generally. So then things blow up like this.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.junglewatch.info/2025/04/memo-to-catholics-in-pews.html