GOING TO FIND OUT WHO'S NAUGHTY OR NICE

The penchant for corporal punishment by Guam's Senator "Santa Claus" (Dwayne San Nicolas) is probably more akin to his original predecessor than Senator "Santa Claus" may realize.

The original "Santa Claus," Saint Nikolaus, 1,500 years before becoming iconized by Clement Moore in "A Visit from Saint Nicholas" ("T'was the night before Christmas..."), famously and allegedly "corporally punished" - during the First Council of Nicea in 325 A.D. -  a certain priest by punching him in the mouth.

The recipient of Nick's punch was a dude name Arius, who Nick regarded as a heretic. Google Arianism if you want to know more, but meanwhile, so much for the "jolly" part of "Jolly Ol' St. Nick." Nick apparently was the 4th century equivalent of a mad Mike Tyson on an airplane. 

So Senator Dwayne San Nicolas is not only in good company, but apparently on the right track. And here's hoping that Guam's Saint Nick goes after the heretics in GovGuam, i.e. the big boys and girls, as gleefully as he portends to go after Guam's bad little boys and girls who have been naughty and not nice. 

SOLVING FOR X and SENATOR SANTA CLAUS

By Tim Rohr

Tall Tales Talk Show Host, Bob Klitzkie, recently addressed news about the possible introduction of a bill by Senator "Santa Claus" which would permit the "caning" of certain criminals, a la Singapore. 

Not only does rookie Senator Dwayne San Nicolas look and dress (sort of) like Santa Claus, his last name literally translates to "Santa Claus:" San (Saint) Nicolas (Nik-o-Laus). 

But Guam's Saint Nick "ain't" interested in depositing Christmas candy "canes" into the stockings of good little girls and boys ("hung by the chimneys with care in hopes that Saint Nikolaus soon would be there").

No, Guam's Saint Nick is apparently much more interested in depositing judicial "canes" onto the backs of bad little girls and boys. 

It's probably a publicity stunt. But whether it is or not, San Nicolas, a businessman, and apparently a good one, is getting lots of "earned media" for said "stunt," and probably ho-ho-ho-ing all the way to his office and re-election.

However, Guam's Saint Nick and his red-nosed foray into Singaporean justice is not the subject of this post. 

Mr. Klitzkie's discussion of Singapore prior to his addressing the proposed caning bill reminded me of a column I wrote for the Umatuna, the newspaper for the Archdiocese of Agana, in 2012, wherein I wrote about Singapore's terrible problem - a problem that is creeping up on Guam as our current Governor continues to champion the destruction of Guam's native population by destroying Chamorro babies.

Read more at: SOLVING FOR X