Friday, May 6, 2016


Dear Mr. Gennarini,

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima freaking culpa. You were right. Those people who met you at the airport with angry shouts and signs were misinformed. You see all this time I thought it was YOU who wrote those devious incorporation documents for RMS. You know, the ones including the illegal (not permitted by Guam law) the unelectable, unremovable, unappointed, Board of Guarantors which has all the power over the "affairs" of RMS right down to any check for more than $5000. 

And all this time I thought it was YOU who had overseen or even authored that clever document called the Declaration of Deed Restriction, which, as per the only existing valid legal opinion, is an instrument of "absolute conveyance in fee simple" of a mega-million dollar property to RMS which is controlled by that Board of Guarantors, which in turn is 50% controlled by you and your wife.

Yes, mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima freaking culpa, Mr. Gennarini. Because on Patti Arroyo's show yesterday, I learned that you had (to quote Sergeant Schultz) NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING to do with either the incorporation documents or the Deed Restriction. In fact, to my great remorse, I learned from you that these shenanigans were all the doings of Archbishop Apuron and that mean old legal counsel, Ed Terlaje!

And here, foolish me, I thought YOU were the one behind it all. Oh, mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima freaking culpa. How can I ever express my most sincere contrition and regret to you, Mr. Gennarini? How can I ever make it up to you? You truly are only a kindly old professor visiting Guam to give a class to our poor, needy, seminarians who suffer daily by the pool at their seaside resort. 

So you hear that, folks? Mr. Gennarini is completely clean. We got the wrong guy! All of you - since you are my "followers" (LOL) - need to make the same public mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima freaking culpa in the comments below.  And then you need to greet Mr. Gennarini and his beloved Claudia (who he left standing on the curb at the airport upon their arrival as he sped off in the getaway car) - all of you need to show your sincere contrition at their departure by greeting them with flowers and kiko songs and Guam chocolates as they bid farewell to the Isla Ladrones as they board United Flight 196 to Narita, May 9, at 12pm. Please don't change your flight, Mr. Gennarini, our people truly want to be there to make this all up to you. 

Meanwhile, I am hurrying to the nearest confessional. Maybe I'll get lucky and the confessor will be the masturbating primatologist and I will get the most severe penance. Oh, for my soul to be once clean again. Tears, tears, Mr. Gennarini. Tears. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima freaking culpa.


The Jungle 


  1. Gennarini The NoodleheadMay 6, 2016 at 10:38 AM

    For your penance you will receive ten..make that twenty lashes with a wet noodle.

  2. Right between his ancient eyes. Good on you Tim.

  3. If I have to apologize, I quit being one of the 15 contributors to JW. Now there's only 14 : (

  4. Gennarini, Just got a full helping of how deep the distaste for the Neocats run on Guam. Mr. G. when you leave take your Cult with you. You have been able to witness first hand the disdain the Guam Catholics have for your Sect. We will never allow them to take over our parishes and our Faith.

  5. A bit of levity is a welcome relief. Thanks Tim.

    Here's something you might enjoy:

    There once was a blogger named Tim.
    Whose view of the bishop was grim.
    The lies were exposed,
    The laity arose.
    Dang! That shepherd can swim!!!

    1. Great job, Andrew! Let's have a limerick contest...

    2. I was just thinking to start writing a musical satire! Keep going, Andrew, with the script! Maybe we can collaborate! LOL (but I am serious)

  6. A prophetic limerick:

    "There once was a bishop named Tony".

    1. "There once was a bishop named Tony
      And as it turned out he's nothing but a phony

      He couldn't keep his hands of the boys
      Thinking they're all his toys

      He gave away the seminary
      And left Jackie in charge of the cemetery

      His past is catching up with him
      Thanks to JungleWatch and Tim

      He can't run and he can't hide
      No matter how hard he's tried

      Now that the end is near
      Brother Tony trembles in fear"


    2. COOL! ! ! I love musical satires!

  7. "Who people believed...full of balongna"

    1. Maybe this: Whose lies were as thick as bologna.

  8. Who tried and tried to be a cardinale..

  9. A man near a beach in a car
    Did not have to drive very far.
    His Timex kept ticking
    In spite of the licking.
    How come I wound up in Qatar??? (alternate pronunciation)

    This could get way out of hand, but a bit of comic relief is therapeutic.

  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

  11. You gotta smile at all of this. Yes, a sense of humor is what's needed. Thank you, Andrew. Hahaha.

  12. Tony Tony run away
    Go find another place to play

    You betrayed the Catholics of Guam
    For you forgot where you came from

    You brought in the Neo intruders
    And turned against us islanders

    You turned against your faithful priests
    And treated them like they're the least

    And now Tony it is very clear
    Your day of reckoning is very near


  13. Drive south and then go down a hill
    To a beautiful presbyter mill.
    No protesting please.
    What archdiocese?
    This whole thing is making us ill.

  14. A Joker who thinks he is wise
    Just spins as he proffers his lies.
    My gosh! What the heck?
    Please use the spell check
    And smile as you say your goodbyes.

    (A day that can't come soon enough!)

  15. The Dianarrhea will interpret Tim's letter meant as ironic message into a sincere apology and will convince people by exclaiming, "See, see? Now the Prince of the Jungle repents of his persecution of our heretical cult and it shows that we were right all along!" Poor puny Diana, such a sad case of mind-bending overload that had gone awry! Poor lunatics which bought into this dangerous NCW lock, stock and barrel, and the deceptions of Arguello and Gennarini! Now the lies are laid bare for the world to see.