HANDLING ESTRANGEMENT

LINK to online version

In my previous column, I addressed what a Time magazine article calls the “epidemic of estrangement.” According to the article, one in two Americans is estranged from a close relative with estrangement usually occurring between a parent and an adult child.

I shared how I had personally experienced estrangement with multiple adult children and promised to share how I dealt with it.

At first, I didn’t. I was in shock. Without getting into personal details, I’ll just say it was sudden and incomprehensible. There was no fight, no disagreement. After many years of a normal and mostly warm parent-child relationship, there was a sudden “I never want to see you again.” And then I was blocked, cancelled, erased. It’s been nearly eight years.

A couple of my daughters actually did their “I never want to see you again” message on social media and included some pretty terrible accusations. As horrible as this was at the time, it turned out to be helpful.

Friends who saw those postings - even though they were as shocked and saddened as I was - reached out to me. One of those friends was a social worker who recognized the elements of the associated phenomenon of “parental alienation.”

I say “associated” because alienation and estrangement are two different things. Alienation is the manipulation of a child (adult or not) by one parent to turn on the other, whereas estrangement is the adult child (or other relative) acting on his or her own. In either case, the end is the same: the sudden and baseless isolation and estrangement of the “target,” who is usually a loving parent.

Thanks to the article that my social worker friend sent me, I quickly recognized that I was not alone. Understanding you are not alone is probably the most important thing since the sudden shock of being cut off, cancelled, and erased by a loved one can lead to a most intense loneliness that can quickly descend into self-harm.

So that’s one of the reasons I am writing this column: to let you - if you have experienced this - know that you are not alone.

In my case, the shock was exponentially intensified by my daughters trashing me on social media, and later, some very hurtful accusations filed in court which the local media picked up and blasted all over the news for nearly a week in May 2018.

It is coincidental (?) that all this happened just weeks after the Vatican had found then-Archbishop Apuron “guilty of “sexual abuse of minors,” a matter in which “Tim Rohr and his associates” (Apuron’s words) had played a "conspiratorial" role. But said “coincidence” is a topic for another column.  

Through it all, though, I was surrounded and supported by people who had known me for many of the thirty years I and my family had thus far lived in Guam.

Part of this support was a result of my own action and I would recommend you do this. I immediately contacted friends and neighbors and calmly assured them that the accusations were false. The fact that I didn’t hide or run away had much to do with my own self-confidence and also brought relief to those who wanted to have confidence in me.

It helped that I had no history of being or acting anything like what I was being accused of, so, as the saying goes: “don’t do in the dark what you wouldn’t do in the light.” You never know when you are going to need your “history.”

So, establishing support is number one. The second thing is educate yourself. Starting with the article my friend sent me, I soon found ever more information and support in every possible format - especially on YouTube where I heard the stories of other parents who could have been telling my exact same story.

The third thing - and this was hard - was for me to go “all business” - to see the whole affair objectively and to deal with my accusers as accusers and not loved ones. In a way, the absurdity and falsity of their accusations helped. They left me no hope of reconciliation, and it’s the false hope of reconciliation that keeps you paralyzed and leads to self-harm.

Lastly - and I’ll have more to say about this in another column - was understanding that once my children reached age 18 I had no right to them. My job was done. So I forgave them, gave them back to God, and moved on. I recommend you do the same.

Tim Rohr has resided in Guam since 1987. He has raised a family of 11 children, owned several businesses, and is active in local issues via his blog, JungleWatch.info, letters to local publications, and occasional public appearances. He may be contacted at timrohr.guam@gmail.com    

 

LET'S GET HIM OUT OF OUR DIRECTORY AND OFF OUR PAYROLL

By Tim Rohr

In HE CAN START WITH THIS, we see that "our" Msgr. David C. Quitugua occupies the position of Parochial Administrator at Blessed Virgin Mary Parish in Darby, Pennsylvania. According to a post in Catholic Straight Answers:

When a parish is “vacant,” meaning that the pastor has retired, been transferred to another assignment, or is incapable of exercising his duties as a pastor, the bishop must appoint as soon as possible a parochial administrator.  In general, an administrator has the same duties and scope of authority as a pastor; however, these may be limited by the bishop.  The bishop in time may decide to appoint the administrator as the pastor.

Now, it seems rather odd, at least to me, that a priest, not incardinated in a diocese, and supposedly "on mission" - as all of these neocat presbyters are said to be, would be appointed to a position which is equivalent to a pastor. Doesn't the Archdiocese of Philadelphia have any of its own priests? 

As usual, whenever things don't add up, we must always expect neocat shenanigans, especially when it comes to sheltering and even hiding major kikocats from Guam like Quitugua. 

Another strange thing is if Quitugua is the Parochial Administrator - the pastor in everything but the name - why isn't he living at the parish so he can be available to his parishioners? Surely the parish - which has such a fine church - must have a rectory.

From the posted info, it appears Quitugua resides - like he did here in Guam - at the Redemptoris Mater Seminary, which has a different address in a different city than the parish. 

One may wonder how Quitugua ended up in the Archdiocese of Philadelphia. Philadelphia, like Boston (under Cardinal Sean O'Malley), is another neo-friendly diocese due to its once being headed by Archbishop Charles Chaput, which is how the RMS got established there to begin with. 

One wonders what is it with these Capuchins and the Neo's. 

Meanwhile, back in Guam, if Quitugua has risen to the level of what is functionally a pastor in another diocese, lets' get him out of our directory and off our payroll. The Catholics of Guam have already paid enough for the mess he left us. 

HE CAN START WITH THIS

By Tim Rohr

One of the things the new archbishop needs to address and address quickly is where are all the priests whose names appear in our clergy directory and who are not here. And some haven't been here for a long time. 

One of those priests is Msgr. David C. Quitugua, who apparently transferred himself from rector of the now closed RMS in Guam to an RMS in Philadelphia.

Meanwhile, he is still listed as a priest of the Archdiocese of Agana.

We don't know if he is still on our payroll. That's something the archbishop needs to clarify. But even if he isn't, he is still incardinated in this archdiocese which means we are liable for him.

In September I did a post titled WHERE ARE THESE PRIESTS AND WHY ARE WE PAYING THEM. Six priests, including the aforesaid Monsignor are "Guam" priests but absent from Guam. 

If they want to live and minister someplace else, then fine, let's get them excardinated so their new bishop can incardinate them. 

The fact that this hasn't happened though - even after several years - is telling. Maybe these other bishops don't want them. 

I wonder why?

In any event, in the spirit of the transparency that the new Archbishop Ryan Jimenez promised us, he can start with this. 

By the way, here's a nice little slide show of the Monsignor celebrating his 40th ordination anniversary. And that reminds me. The Umatuna and Archdiocese Facebook pages have been very active in publishing congratulatory posts for the ordination anniversaries of all the priests, but not the Monsignor's, whose anniversary was January 7. 

 

THE CHARMER, THE MANIPULATOR, AND THE CORRUPTOR

 posted by Frenchie

Unlike in the famous 1970s spaghetti western movie : " The Good, The Bad and the Ugly" these are not different individuals, but rather one single person with multiple sets of skills. (or sins).

If you recently read Junglewatch, the last two articles are concerning this individual, namely Father Harold Colorado Prieto.

But this is not entirely surprising. During the year 2024 Fr Harold, aka Boboboy (from his days of close association with the disgraced Apuron) has ably engaged in a campaign of de-diabolization, to make us forget his dubious past and redraw a new, more appetizing image. This is his "Charmer" facet. After months of disappearance from the Archdiocese of Agana, when he continued to be the willing man servant of Apuron, Harold reappeared when Archbishop Byrnes attempted to lay down the law for the NCW "Presbyters" as they like to be called, back until about 2017, at least here.

The Charmer

The then Vicar General, Fr Richards and Fr Harold, along with several other "presbyters" were assigned to St Anthony/ St Victor, which had been an accommodating shelter for the NCW, without being too obvious. This is where and when Harold initiated his charming offensive, which continues until now. Using his latino charisma and charming (but deceiving) ways, he embarked in a patient and long campaign to reshuffle his image. Blatantly wooing parishioners and fellow priests, in often inappropriate ways, and making headways. One can remember Troy Torres on his blog defending this "sexy man" who was discriminated without reason. This was probably the most blatant example of confusion of the faithful. The plan was obviously working.

The Manipulator

You have to admit that Harold puts a lot of efforts in his mission. He never turns down a request, and is always ready to "help". The most recent example, but certainly not the only one, being his willingness to be the speaker at the upcoming March for life. Harold has also been spotted with our new Archbishop in non clerical social outings where he voluntary is advancing his services. While the string is pretty thick for those of us accustomed to the NCW bait and switch tactics, it does not seem to be obvious to less aware persons who end up being manipulated into situations they do not fully grasp. There is no tit for tat at the beginning, just an exchange of favors between nice people, who appear to be on the same wavelength. Little does the mark know that he or she is the target of a scam.

The corruptor

Some of us remember clearly the compromising situations of Apuron and Harold. Few have connected the dots, where Harold is not beyond taking advantage of a moment of weakness,  an awkward incident, or an embarrassing situation. But like his predecessor the putrid Pius he is an expert at capitalizing and weaponizing such opportunity. This is probably the reason he was sent back to us, as the agent of Genarrini on Guam. The New Jersey gang has shown in the past how adept they are at this kind of game.

It is very sad to note the lack of memory people generally have about what happened less than 10 years ago. If we do not learn our lessons from the past, we shall be condemned to relive them. Lets arm ourselves with this knowledge, and lets not fall for the same traps all over again. This latest incident with the March for life is a perfect example of a well meaning person being out maneuvered by a sly operator.

 Harold has been put in charge of the NCW stronghold of Agat, and he is now more dangerous than ever. This is a perfect storm, with a new Archbishop still unsure whom to trust, a bunch of cliques within the clergy, Harold the dangerous operator, and a transition for a new Vicar General.

Catholics on Guam should beware.

CCOG PRESIDENT OPPOSES CHOICE OF CPLC SPEAKER

By Tim Rohr

Concerned Catholics of Guam President David Sablan has written a letter opposing the choice of Fr. Harold Colorado Prieto by the Catholic ProLife Committee as the main speaker at this Friday's March for Life.

LETTER: Major concern with regard to the March for Life event on Friday

Pacific Daily News, Jan. 15, 2025
By David J. Sablan

https://www.guampdn.com/opinion/letter-major-concern-with-regard-to-the-march-for-life-event-on-friday/article_fd8db9d0-d2ee-11ef-a531-0f1e05b122eb.html

Guam Daily Post, Jan. 15, 2025

By David J. Sablan

https://www.postguam.com/forum/letter_to_the_editor/major-concern-regarding-the-march-for-life-event/article_f838f2e8-d2f2-11ef-9fb7-fb9c1d351648.html

There is a March for Life procession and rally this Friday starting in front of the Dulce Nombre de Maria Cathedral Basilica in Hagåtña. The event participants want to show strong support for life, specifically for unborn babies.

The primary objective of the Guam Catholic Pro-Life Committee is to rally our support for the unborn children developing in the wombs of their mothers. Aborting babies is evil. The unborn are children of God and are entitled to life, a gift from God, our Creator.

When I read the announcement of this March for Life event, it listed Father Harold Prieto as its main speaker at the rally. Probably for many, he is just another member of the clergy. Many probably do not know who he is.

I questioned the organizer of the event how and why was he chosen to speak at the event? The response did not satisfy me. With other leaders of our clergy, or lay persons who could speak with authority, knowledge, and influence on the subject of abortion vs. life of a baby in the womb, I was shocked that Fr. Harold Prieto was asked to speak at this important event.

If there is one member of the clergy who can be identified as probably the closest ally to the now-disgraced, demoted, and permanently exiled from Guam, former Archbishop of Agana, Anthony Apuron, it is Harold Colorado Prieto.

Apuron was found guilty by a Vatican tribunal for "certain accusations" relating to allegations of sexual abuse of minors. Apuron was stripped of his title of archbishop of Agana and exiled forever from Guam. He can never return.

This was a major scandal that hung over Guam like a dark cloud for several years till justice was finally served for the people of Guam. Pope Francis further decreed that Apuron could not appeal his conviction and sentence.

Harold Prieto was Apuron's right hand man and one of his fiercest defenders.

Why is the Pro-Life Committee giving him a platform to present himself as someone who has authority, knowledge, and influence to rally support for the Pro­ Life cause?

The other disturbing fact is, Harold Prieto is part of the Neocatechumenal Way, NCW, which has been trying to resurrect their reputation from the Apuron scandal.

The NCW organization on Guam started to exert their power because of their support from Apuron, only to be brought down with Apuron when he was exposed of corruption and certain accusations relating to sexual abuse of minors.

Harold Prieto is a priest. If he had any ounce of humility and concern for the feelings of those hurt by Apuron's scandal, which still is haunting us as we financially settle with the victims of Apuron and other individuals abused by other members of the clergy, he should have not accepted to be the main speaker at this event.

Concerned Catholics of Guam, Inc. is working to remove the Neocatechumenal Way organization from Guam and the region. Their methods of conversion and teachings are not in line with scripture, the magisterium and traditions of our Catholic Church.

David J. Sablan is the president of Concerned Catholics of Guam, Inc. 

My Note

From the feedback I've received, it appears the real concern about Fr. Harold isn't his horrible record from the Apuron years but, in the words of one commenter: "his usual nonchalant, unprepared homilies and delivery may actually offend the non-Catholic participants," and "He's going to be too hip, trying to cater to the youth that may actually be offensive to the adult non-Catholic attendees."

Given that this is the main Catholic ProLife event of the year, one wonders why the new archbishop has to be off-island (again) at this time. It would have been a perfect opportunity for him to show leadership on this issue which, given the number of abortions procured by local Catholics and the current governor's abortion militancy, is, next to the scandal Apuron left us, the biggest scandal in Guam's Catholic Church. 

Again, given the prominence of this event and the archbishop's absence, speaking duties should have fallen to the Vicar General, Fr. Romeo Convocar, or, next in line,  Msgr. Ruben Espeno who is the Spiritual Director for the Catholic Pro-Life Committee. But these two either declined to speak or were not invited to. 

Meanwhile, given that this is a public event and not specifically Catholic, it would probably have been advisable to have a layperson speak, especially a layperson more intimately involved with the ProLife cause. 

In any event, Mr. Sablan's points are well taken and given how Harold is directly connected to the events that led to the bankruptcy of this archdiocese, in my view, Harold's selection to speak at this event is certainly ill-advised if not a slap in the face to those of us who paid a heavy price to expose the evil that Harold was defending.

 

LET THE NEW SHEPHERD BEWARE

A Vatican source said that the organizers “should have known better” than to invite Archbishop Apuron. 

This is both old and new news. Old because the article is from 2018 and published shortly after Apuron was first found guilty by the Vatican and before his appeal - which was denied by the pope himself. It's also new because, while I was aware of other instances where Apuron showed up "on stage" with the pope after he was found guilty, I was not aware of this one as reported by the Jesuit-run America Magazine - though I do remember when it appeared in the Pacific Daily News. 

The key thing here is not so much Apuron embarrassing the pope, but the Neocat brazenness to invite Apuron to the event immediately after his guilty verdict and to place him on the same stage as the pope. This, once again, demonstrates the complete Neocat disregard for just about everything that we have so often witnessed here in Guam. Let the new Shepherd beware. 

The article from America Magazine is linked here and copied in full below:

Pope Francis was likely unaware of Guam archbishop’s presence at Rome celebration

Pope Francis would not have known in advance that the former archbishop of Guam, Anthony S. Apuron, would be on stage with him in Rome on May 5 at the Te Deum celebration of the 50th anniversary of the founding of the Neocathecumenal Way, one of the biggest pastoral and spiritual movements in the church today, if at times a controversial one.

A Vatican source (who asked not to be identified) explained that whenever the pope is invited to such a large public event he does not see the guest list in advance nor is the list checked by Vatican officials, as they trust the organizers of these gatherings to act in a responsible way. Archbishop Apuron had been condemned by a Vatican tribunal on March 16. He left Guam in 2016 after child molestation charges against him surfaced, including a more recent allegation of abuse from his own nephew.

At the celebration at Tor Vergata, a field outside of Rome, there were many cardinals and bishops from all over the world, including Archbishop Apuron—who has been one of the most friendly bishops to the movement in the Pacific—as well as around 100,000 people from some 130 countries. All the attendees were invited by the Neocathecumenal Way organizers. The movement began in Spain in 1964 and claims more than one million adherents in 6,000 parishes worldwide.

The archbishop’s presence may have gone unnoticed had it not been reported, with a photo and video, by The Pacific Daily News, on May 7. The Vatican Press Office would offer no comment on the archbishop’s presence at the event.

The Vatican source, however, told America that the organizers “should have known better” than to invite Archbishop Apuron, given that a Vatican Tribunal had found him guilty of some of the accusations against him. “With friends such as these, the pope has no need of enemies,” the source remarked.

After its verdict was reached, the Vatican Tribunal’s public statement did not identify which offenses the archbishop had been found guilty of, but it said it imposed on him “the penalties of privation of office and prohibition of residence” in the Archdiocese of Agaña in Guam. He was not dismissed from the clerical state and has the right to appeal the sentence. U.S. Cardinal Raymond L. Burke, a noted canon lawyer, was the presiding judge in the canonical investigation of Archbishop Apuron.

The archbishop insists on his innocence and has begun the appeal process. That means his penalties “are suspended until final resolution.” Nevertheless, the source said that under the circumstances the archbishop “should have kept a low profile” and not attended such a public event.

Members of the Neocathecumenal Way have been criticized for insensitivity as they have carried out evangelical work, and some of its liturgical practices have been challenged. Before sending 34 teams of Neocatechumenal Way members off on new missions, including to poorer parishes on the "peripheries" of Rome, Pope Francis on May 5 reminded its assembled members about the obligation of every Christian to evangelize, and he gave notes on how it should be done. He told the thousands gathered at Tor Vergata that sharing the Gospel means being a witness to love, responding to questions and patiently walking alongside people, not dictating how and when they take the next step.

In Guam, Archbishop Apuron had been a strong supporter of the Neocathecumenal Way. Most controversially, he turned over diocesan property to adherents of the way without seeking the proper approval from Rome. That property has been reclaimed by the archdiocese, and the seminary run by adherents of the Neocathecumenal Way has been closed.

After the verdict was announced in March, Archbishop Michael Byrnes, Archbishop Apuron’s successor, publicly apologized on behalf of the whole archdiocese for the “grave harm” caused by Archbishop Apuron. Archbishop Byrnes, who has been leading the Archdiocese of Agaña since 2016, said a new chapter of humility, repentance and healing has opened for the Catholic Church in Guam following the verdict. Archbishop Apuron is among the highest-ranking church leaders to have been tried by the Vatican for sexual offenses.

“We hang our heads in shame for the grave evil one member inflicted upon others, in this case the most vulnerable,” Archbishop Byrnes said during a news conference in Guam March 18. The archdiocese, in preparation for settlements in scores of abuse cases dating back decades, is preparing for the sale of a number of church properties.

TOP POSTS FOR THE LAST 30 DAYS - WHAT THEY TELLS US

By Tim Rohr

Except for the first two, all of the other most viewed posts for the last 30 days are close to ten years old and from the days of the Apuron-Neocat wars. Still so much interest. I'm guessing that this blog serves as a detailed history of what happened - both for those who don't want it to happen again and those who have plans not to make the same mistakes they did last time.  

FOOD FOR THOUGHTS

 posted by frenchie

Following my Post regarding Notre Dame of Paris,  I received several comments asking if I saw any similarities with what we have recently witnessed, here on Guam?

Let me clarify the context, the question was following my explanation that all religious building in France are owned by either the local government or the national government, and that the Church is just a tenant of sort, free of rent, but not owning the Churches where we celebrate our own religion.

The people posing the question to me, were referencing the recent purchase by the Government of Guam of the buildings housing the Chancery, as well as the residence of the Archbishop.

I must say that I had not thought of this issue, under such an angle. Yet, it seems that it is worth to ask ourselves a few questions, since if we are not paying with our contributions, we are with our taxes. Worse, after some reflexions, one can wonder what are the real intentions of the Governor, since her family's bank is on one side the largest creditor of the Archdiocese, while she herself is one of the most rabid proponent of abortion on the island. Could Lourdes Leon Guerrero Cook benefit either financially or politically from said purchase, by holding it as a Damocles sword of sort over the head of the new Archbishop?

The plot thickens if you consider her close relationship with some very influential members of the local clergy, who had been smudged in the past by some less than above the board accounting methods. Further the chief of staff of the Governor, happens to be a close protege of one of said influential members of the local Clergy. Actually it is through this personal and close relationship that a meeting was established during the visit of Cardinal Tagle at the end of November, between his eminence and the Governor and Lt Governor, bypassing the Archbishop himself, who was left out to dry. (and probably not very pleased)

Several other incidents, have happened before and since this mishap, where the same actors have sidelined Archbishop Ryan, undermining our new prelate. It also appears that the people that are still at the Chancery, dating back to the Apuron years, have not given the best advices to the Archbishop, specially in regards to communication. (is this incompetence or sabotage?)

Regular readers of this site, have surely noted that Tim Rohr has been quite critical (with some very good reasons) of some of the communications of our newly minted Bishop in regards to public statements, relation to the Neos, as well as public appearances, which could be charitably qualified as ill advised and socially awkward.

Now that Fr Concovar has been given the duty of being the Bishop of Chalan Kanoa, we should all watch carefully who our own Archbishop will entrust with the crucial and poisoned title of Vicar General. The decision should be very telling and give us a small window of opportunity in the thought process of our new Leader. Lets pray that he takes the corrective measures necessary, and surround himself with true servants of the Church, and not ill intentioned clerics who do not have his best interest, and our Church best interest in mind

It would certainly be a shame to fall back into the bad habits of the Apuron's era. Perhaps it is a good time for some of the individuals who had jokeyed for the Archbishop position, to take a deep breath, and make peace with the fact that they did not get the job. There are way too many serious issues in this Archdiocese for a few bruised egos to sabotage the few inroads we have made over the last 10 years. Archbishop Jimenez needs good advices and some solid support at the Chancery, not some career driven individuals who do not have our best interest in mind. Time out!!!

WHILE WE CELEBRATED THE ADVENT, CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR

 posted by frenchie

Pope Francis recently condemned the "cruelty" of another israeli air strike, which led to the death of another 7 children from a single Palestinian family, in Gaza, according to a communique from the civil defense of the territory.

" Yesterday, Children were again targeted. It is simply plain cruelty, it has nothing to do with war. I wish to say it publicly because it wounds my heart"  The Pope declared while talking to members of the Curia of the Holy See.

The speaker for the Civilian defense of the Gaza Strip Mahmud Bassal denounced " a new massacre by the occupiers (Israel) who "martyred 10 members of the Khalla family, who was targeted by an aerial strike on the family's house in Jabalia, near the town of Gaza. All the victims are from the same family, including 7 children, the oldest one being 6 years old, adding that there was also 15 severely wounded."

The Israeli armed forces affirmed that the Gaza Civil Defense statement does not match its own information. Tsahal claims that it hit several terrorists who operated a military structure, that belonged to Hamas, and represented a threat to its own troops.

This Israeli statement matches almost all its statements when it is accused to have targeted, Hospitals, schools, Churches and refugee camps consisting at this time of flimsy tents.

Pope Francis who is 88 years old, has constantly called for Peace since the October 7th attack and the campaign of retaliation and terror that followed it. Recently the Pope has used harsher terms than in the past against the Israeli operation now in its 14th month.

While the western press has been for the most part silent or apologetic about the Israeli operation, Francis in November declared "the arrogance of the invaders is taking over the need for dialogue in Palestine. A position which is starkly different than the usual Vatican tradition of Neutrality.

At a time when the World Health Organization remains totally mute about the bombardment of the last Hospital left standing in Gaza, Francis appears to be a single voice in the desert. In excerpts of his soon to be published Book, the Pope argues for a minutious study to legally determine if the situation in Gaza constitute a genocide, an accusation strongly rejected by Israel.