A couple of friends from Spain, former members of the Neocatechumenal Way, wrote this in Cruxsancta blog. I want to translate it for you because it reflects quite well what means being an outsider of the Way and the inner fight you live learning to be a normal person again (if possible) and even a humble catholic.
"A ping-pong game -always unpleasant between "you do not see, you do not understand" arguments- seems to be installed many times in some blogs like Cruxsancta with apparently unsuccessful strugle. However, it is only appearance, because between the lines and sometimes directly, neocatechumenals' commentaries are leaving traces of those behaviors which make Cruxsancta necessary and other similar blogs too.
A "problem" added to my permanence on the neo-path is that I have in the "hard disk" of my head the most of the neo-ghostly verbiage installed. Of course, it is such a "conversion table" which I was not able to understand during the times I stayed walking, but at least I could analyze it after my departure from the "quagmire", the NCW. Testimonies and explanations by former members I found in internet helped me a lot.
If something annoys those who know "the background in the backrooms of the neo-iter", it is precisely when "translations" come to put black on white about the real meaning of their perorations and reiterative speeches that occur in each neocatechumenal encounter, announce , convivence of the year, etc. ...
Some days ago, the last neocatechumenal troll in Cruxsancta helped me to refresh my memory of one of the most used levers within the kikian-machinery. It was in his following comment:
"I feel what they did to you, really.
Sorry if I offended you at something.
I wish everyone could speak with the freedom you speak.
Although I see some pride and resentment, and that does not help you.
Maybe from the outside you can not do anything, maybe God asks you to fight for the truth from within.
Cheer up.
The truth will make you free"
Let me highlight this:
"Maybe from the outside you can not do anything, maybe God asks you to fight for the truth from within"...
This led me immediately to a past time, it is what happens when someone "click" on a "shortcut" slept in my "hard drive", the words, mixed with memories are activated, and remove everything. Because it is inevitable, they also set in motion equations and results.
In the background, they begin to surface the wreck, and although I grip "my" table, desperate but hopefully, I see desolation around when others are struggling to grip with the terrible shipwreck and without more support than their only courage. I instill courage, admiration promoted in a half by pain and love. And I can do nothing, or maybe yes ....
That man, in that marked part of his commentary, puts at stake the lever of fear that so often drives from the neo-lecterns. A brief look at my memory and I think you will understand me.
I climb the lectern and as if in the middle of the blahblahblah of any neo-talk:
"....... maybe you are in crisis, brother, also God allows it, the Devil does his job and makes you doubt about the things you hear here on the Way, this is the combat where the Lord calls you, because many times, instead of obeying what we your catechists say, you prefer thinking how to build a religion made to your own measure, this "yes", this "no"....But do not lie to yourself again, brother, Devil wants you to leave the Way and miss these graces the Lord wants to give you on the Way...Just look at history and see. And I'll say, I anticipate: we have seen other times, in other brothers, they felt tired because of the Way, they find it heavy, they do not come into obedience, they will not hear the voice of God, they resist, they do not enter into the rest because they live all in their own forces, they want to convert themselves by their fists, and what happens is they end up being the mighty of Yaveh...
We had put an image on the board, remember it, at the end of the Way you will be the servant of Yaveh, but if you live this in your strength, without walking as we have told you, cheating too...you're cheating, then you will get tired, and you will left the Way... Well, go out! Go to the world! What do you think? What will happen? .... Well, go on a Sunday Mass, but as you may have heard the catechesis of the Devil, and you've left from where the Lord called you, do not lie yourself anymore. You know what will happen? That just as you have rebelled with the Way with the story that God wanted for you and your family, you will pass only a few Sundays, as the Devil wants: first you leave the Way and then...also, brother, then Devil will get away with it, because you've belived him, and YOU WILL LEFT THE CHURCH. That is what the Devil wants you to do when you walk into a crisis with the Way!
...................................................
- And right now, I get off the lectern, neocatechumenal way off and I return to the blog.
I have omitted on purpose that thing about those who are called and chosen to allow the Master of the seven escrutinies and ten dipped tunics into milk and honey, Kiko, to talk about them, after reminding in Spanish we use to say "tell me of what you presume and I will tell you what you lack of"....
KIKO:
"God raised Him and has made Him Lord of both, the living and the dead. And He comes. He asks us to live as He lived, following the traces He left us in life. He left for us luminous traces, says Sant Peter. Look at their tracks: insulted, He did not respond with insults; Slapped, He referred justice to the Father; He became sin, let falling evil upon his flesh. "Christians, do we accept to fall on our flesh the evil of our son, the evil of a husband, the evil of that one at work? -No!, I do not accept anything that. But man, if you should have left the Way a long time ago, how many years have you been here warming up the chair, taking the site of another?
Because in your deep, in the pride of your inner justitialism, there is you do not accept injustice. This is the point, brothers. God shows us the way as Christians. In the catacombs the Christians are painted like sheep; in the apse of a catacomb in Rome you have a slaughtered lamb center surrounded by little sheep right and left. - Who are these sheep? - It is that I am a sheep? - Yes sir, you are a sheep. - Well, I do not wanna be a sheep! - That is fine, then leave! Go out of here to be a wolf, a tiger or whatever you please.
We are talking about quite serious things. You left because you were not called to this. "Many are called but only a few are chosen". Then comes the persecution and quickly we see those who have faith because those who do not have it, they escape, blaspheme, fall away, do whatever to avoid others will hit them. They were called "the lapsi", those who, after such suffering, when peace had come, shouted at the gates of the churches to be admitted, and they didn't want to admit them again. Were called lapsis those who had fallen away from the faith to not be tortured or be killed. The Church of Rome had patience and mercy, but what a sad life for those men, shouting because they wanted to return to the Church.
Courage, brothers, I have the Lord's mission to call you to conversion. To me the first, I'm like you, sinful man; Here we all have in common that we are forgiven men, all sinners and all forgiven. And how can we have the holy humility of Christ not demanding anything of anyone, being like sheep in the midst of the world? ("I send you as lambs among wolves") How can we be patient in suffering, how can we be meek, how we can be sweet, as to be humble, how can we have the holiness of Christ?
We need God may want to give it for us. For behold Christ crucified. And why when is announced the Kerygma the Holy Spirit comes down? Because God in Christ has shown his nature, his essence. God no one has seen him. What is the divine essence? That you were created for Him, you were created to be person in Him, that through His Holy Spirit you will participate in His love. Because you were loved by Him, because He loves you, because you were in the thought of Christ before the creation of the world. Yes sir, with those eyes you have, with that nose. You, none other! You were designed by God, created by Him forever".
(De la convivencia de catequistas 2004-05)
(From Mamotrete of convivence for catechists, 2004-05)
I want to highlight this:
"We are talking about quite serious things. You left Because you were not called to this. "Many are called but few are chosen" .Then comes the persecution and quickly we see those who have faith because those who do not have it, escape, blaspheme, fall away, do whatever to avoid others will hit them"...
In the table of equivalences, which I later found out (helped by many others, for example on this blog) anyone who walks in the Way but after a time leaves it, deserves no different end than that one reserved for "the lapsis".
I want to to dedicate this post for those who are the "bulldozed", the "anathematized", those who trusted on those who claim to be the instrument of the "new evangelization" and in practical level they are just faithful collaborators of the "new secularism".
For those Doña Carmen ventured to call "bounced", from here I want to give them, bounced, a hug with all my soul.
Especially for those who once felt without ground beneath their feet, who associated the name of NCW with the good name of our mother the Church to such an extent that after spending so many years into the temples, they ended without being able to put their feet in them, the more often because they were reminded of all their wounds received in their neocatecumenal voyage.
They were faithful to the dictates of their kiko-catechists, at least for a while, believing in them, they spent their "faith" in the imposture called NCW. That NCW which never forgave their departure. And beforehand,it was prepared the vilest trap for them, because in the middle of the neo-preaching of "nothing plus nothing", they placed the slogan that if they left the Way, it was by their rebellion against the "will of the Lord." ... branded "bounced" branded "lapsis," their old neo-brothers changed their sidewalk to avoid meeting them ...
Sure, they admitted no more "being hit".
They admitted no more being "sheep of some neo-inventors of and endless nosense", who far from being like the Good Shepherd, they behaved as unfaithful dogs. They so often say they are "friends of the boyfriend" (and they do not know Him) and claim to be the "shepherd dogs" (and they bite mercilessly His little sheep) ....
I also share my hug for those who -for whatever reasons- finally found a not demanding Church that supports them within as a "Loving Mother" ....
Anyway, it hurts when you remind and that man knows it and writes:
"I'm just saying that if you left the Way, you will drown in your own pride".
Let's go back over that "tell me of what you presume and I will tell you of what you lack"
Unfortunately, the neo experience leads many people to that point, the same Way has prepared it beforehand as a mechanism of self-protection: they "identify" themselves as the most autentiK Church, the truest form of primitive Christianity adapted to modern times, approved, blessed, shaken....so, if you leave the Way you will hear the voice of Devil... "And you will leave the Church"...
At this point you will not molest us anymore, if you are aimless and you do not understand what actually happened, if you stay far from the Grace of Sacraments, much better for the NCW. Clear. "You will give us the reason (that reason which neos want to be crucified in others, while they claim reason for themselves)". You will not say anything because you will not be inside but outside, where are weeping and gnashing of teeth.
"You are out"...this is so hypocritical, so disloyal...While you belive that leaving the Way is leaving the Church, you will not tell anybody within Church what things you heard in the Way about "natural religious" catholics of Sunday mass, their childish faith which does not interest anyone, what kind of things you heard there of those priest, bishops and cardinals who refuse the Way....
"You are out"...at the end means "it is better for us if you leave the Church", so we, neos, could stay within changing the Water. We, neos, could stay making our mess by pleasure, saying we obey the Pope when we do not obey...because we wish He will say "arrivederchi" and then we could do our wanted circus aside.
I wonder what could happen if all former members, those who were sons and daughters of the abandoned one, will stand up in front of those who claimed to be "prophets of your story" when really they were just judging...If they had the minimum discernment they would be the first on turning the light off in their saloons of the kingdom apart and should run fastly to the real Church".
Signed: Meripe and Sepul from Cruxsancta blog, former members of the Way.
