|Excommunication literally means to be "X'd" out of|
Monday, October 26, 2015
WHEN I WAS EXPELLED FROM MY COMMUNITY
And just a note why so many bishops support this great evil. 1. They get a third of "trash bag" collection. 2. They are too lazy to raise their own vocations so Kiko provides them. 3. They are too lazy to do the hard work of evangelization themselves so they opt for a turn-key Kiko franchise. And there is one more: Satan does not waste time with the sheep. The shepherd is the prize.
The following was originally written in another language and run through a translator so there may be some inconsistencies in the English.
When I was expelled from my community and the Church, I felt like a
knife sliced me in half without anesthesia. I do remember that stance
as my spiritual death. I have not been able to set foot in a church ever
since. I tried but I can’t. In my life this has become the silence of God.
In the worse moments of my life, where suffering is unbearable, the
hardest thing is the silence that remains after your soul has been
destroyed. Those who have experienced dramatic moments such as
these, know that what is always left is silence. This is perhaps what
best defines a traumatic shock too immense to be expressed with the
sound of words. The silence after a bomb ... Something like that is
what happened to me that day.
above mine). He has “walked” with Kiko, I do not know since when, but
I know they have been together. He's retired now, I do not know if he’s
a honorary pastor or priest in a parish, or what... he probably doesn’t
even remember me, because he never apologized. Had he
remembered me, I believe he would have apologized. Therefore, I
think he does not really care about what he did. In his mind, he
probably thought what he did was "normal". Kiko was aware. I know
this because there were some serious problems in the community and
our catechists spoke to Kiko himself. Kiko gave them some advice and
then sent these catechists to speak to the community, supposedly to
help. But in reality the visit consisted of a type of Sanhedrin trial.
Everyone was full of fear because of the only solution that is
consistently used in the Way for everything: are you willing to follow
Jesus Christ ... Yes or no? If you said yes then the next question was:
are you willing to obey the catechist above all and always? So I replied
"yes, provided that the catechists follow the doctrine and teachings of
the Church". And then the problems started. Because it is not allowed
to add anything to that "yes" they want to hear.
So when they heard that response they understood that I was
conditioning them, and therefore I was conditioning Christ. And so they
repeated the same question. And I answered again. And then... war….
Tremendous violence, mental violence, violence in their speech,
absolute psychologic violence ... and the people there were all very
scared. That night I saw my “brothers” in our community, those that
were usually high as castles, parents, grown men, trembling with fear,
whimpering like children, really terrified. Why so much terror?
The answer is obvious. When you enter the “way” at 13 years old and
your parents and siblings are all in the “way”, your husband, your in-laws,
your co-workers, your soul friends are all there and you think
about the remote possibility of suddenly losing everything... so many
years of your life thrown away ... what can you explain to your young
children? What do you say when your house is empty? What will you
do when none of your friends look at you again or laugh with you? Who
are you going to have a beer with and talk to, or have dinner or
celebrate your birthday with? Our whole life was built around the “way”.
That was really what happened to us, my husband and me. My
husband was also expelled. And suddenly it was as if our lives fell
apart, like the Hiroshima bomb. It was not a life worth living. There was
only death and silence. And we as a couple and our young children
were left alone, abandoned. Thirty odd years we had behind to start
from scratch. I do not want to comment publicly our worst personal
They killed our faith. I felt as a woman whose baby was robbed. And
where was our mother Church? I responded immediately to that priest
that I would personally go to (the name of the bishop) and
told him really convinced that the Church could not allow that! Who did
this priest think he was to expel us out of the Catholic Church? He just
could not do it!
When he mocked us, laughing and saying that he and (the bishop) were
good friends and it wouldn’t do any good to go and talk to him, I felt,
besides being robbed of my “baby”, my faith, that he crashed me
against the rocks... and I remember that psalm we often sung in the
community... "along the rivers of Babylon, remembering you,
Jerusalem, we wept."
The worse thing happened that night when we were phoned by the
main catechist responsible for that team (not the priest), a very good
man, very humble. He asked us to apologize that priest because that
“was his way of being”; and "he lost his mouth", he said. He asked us
to forget everything he had told us and go back to our community.
However, he also said we were not to go to the parish for some time,
and the pastor (who was also at the meeting) forbade us to go to the
Easter Vigil. What??? That was the final blow, like the one bullfighters
give the bull in the back of neck to rid him of his misery.
That day, only two brothers in our community joined us and left the
room with us. No one else moved. I know many wanted to, but did not
have the courage because they were afraid of being expelled and
“ruin” their lives, or so we heard later. They chose to betray
themselves, going against their conscience, mainly for their children,
who were about to enter the “way” into their own communities.
We told them that we could not want for our children what was not
good for us. Since then, my children have just set foot in a church for
very few things. I cannot educate them in the Catholic faith because I
have no faith left. I can no longer believe in the Church. I'm sorry but I
cannot. And my children do not question me about this either.
The eldest, after a few years, had to go to therapy. He later said that
when he was little and we took him to the parish the nannies hit him.
He never told us anything back then. We just remembered that every
time we left him with the nannies we later had to take him to the E.R.
because he had high fever and was drowning. It was like automatic.
We came to the celebrations, we left him with the other children during
the Eucharist, Easter, retreats, etc. and he was always crying non-stop,
we found him always red, with fever, covered with mucus, coughing
and vomiting. And he was always crying, from the very first minute until
the last, a few hours later.
Later on the doctors diagnosed a severe allergy to a fungus that grows
in places with high humidity. In the basement of that parish the children
and nannies were put into a very small room with no windows or
ventilation, full of dirt and dust. In the halls of the parish, which were
flooded when it rained, there were rats, and since there were many
bills to pay, the pastor called the pest control people only when
neighbors complained. Those were the unsanitary conditions I usually
left my kids in, and so my oldest one got so sick. Because of that, he
cried a lot and nannies hit him because he did not shut up.
When I learned all of that by the psychologist who helped my son
(because of a school matter), I felt a lot of anger and outrage.
Catechists always said that children with asthma were sick because
they have hysterical mothers. So I was a hysterical mother, of course,
because my son had asthma. Strange that asthma crisis appeared
when we had the parish full of nannies, rats and fungus. What a
coincidence! My catechist was clear to me that my son got sick
because the devil wanted to pull me away from the “way”. He said that
children can never take you away from God because they belong to
All of this happened years ago, and yet I cannot write without an alias
because I still have some close relatives in the “way”, and in the same
parish that I was in. They are my only link with them, unfortunately.
They still know EVERYTHING about my life through that person. They
know everything ... if I'm right, if I'm wrong, if my children have
problems, if I enter or leave my house ... they know everything.
My catechists have died. My community was mortally wounded. That is
the proof that things were not done well. As I learned recently, my
catechist’s catechist had to do exactly what they should have done
when we were visited that day, but they would not listen to us and
killed the messenger hoping to avoid the message. Apparently the
widow of the humble catechist who called us home that night
immediately reminded us to the rest of the team when they finally
opted for the solution. She said something like "do you remember
those brothers wanted desperately to say “something” to us years ago?
They told my husband something, something very serious was going
on in the community". Lady widow catechist, I thank you deeply in my
soul that at least someone is decent enough among eighty people who
witnessed the events that day... but the evil they did and agreed upon,
the harm they did will never heal.
I feel that this writing is too long. I will translate it and send it to Jungle
Watch so they can also read it. My fellow friends in Cruxsancta already
know all this. I have told this many times in my comments along the
I think we should conclude that it is necessary to join forces among
former members of different languages so that our experiences reach
to the ends of the Earth. I do not want anything I have experienced and
lived happen even to my worst enemy.
In Cruxsancta, former kikos (it is a convenient way to speak) from
different Spanish speaking countries write about our experiences, and
we all agree... there are too many things in common that are repeated
no matter where in the planet, or with whom. The “way” has the seeds
of destruction. Evil is inherent in the system itself, independently of
In my case, two different teams of catechists, coming from different
parishes are involved. Maybe if there were different circumstances, I
would not have suffered, but the parish next door would have. I know
there are many other cases like mine, at least because of the fact of
being excluded on grounds of conscience. The “way” is very
contradictory on key issues of the Catholic faith.
There are many people who follow Kiko and the catechists like sheep,
including many priests, especially the Redemptoris Mater ones, who
have understood that even above the Pope, there is Kiko and they are
therefore authorized spokesmen, replicated copies of Kiko in a smaller
scale, his catechists.
Our hope is that among the fat and happy sheep in the “way” there are
people who try to follow Christ in a spirit of truth and consistency,
without hipocrisy or conveniences, and they sometimes feel their
consciences grind because the pieces on this puzzle do not fit.
However, it is too high a price to pay. It is an inhumane price. My
suffering for all that happened has caused me considerable physical
and psychological damage.
I know some who were good friends back then are still buried there
suffering a lot, and are not happy. Their sons heard catechesis and are
in communities. They are still playing the same roles. Indeed the “way”
survives thanks to the children and grand children of the old people. At
least in Spain, very few come out to form new communities, and even
fewer are not related to someone already in. That's what makes it at
least easier, even if they are not happy, they go along. They chose to
live in a ghetto and the ghetto they have built is very comfortable. Of
course, it is a very effective ghetto.
Kiko has built a town of his own. I do not know if you can call it like a
“New People of Israel”, because they don’t help to build the Catholic,
Universal Church, but his particular vision of what he wants as the
Church: a grand community of communities ... Neocatechumenal, of
course, not ever otherwise.
When I listen to some bishops say that the “Way” is the one who best
represent the faith in Christ (lol), I think they are sincerely enjoying
something like a drunken honeymoon affair with Kiko. And they will
land on their feet, perhaps sooner than they think.
The problem is people of good will who trust their pastors ... People
who think they really are guided by Christ, not by Kiko. And Jesus the
Good Shepherd is not Kiko. The “prophet” of Palomeras, Pako the
Punishment, as we call him in Cruxsancta, only wants a certain type of
sheep and wants the best meadows. The rest matters little, in my
opinion. His way of settling the issues are the same as those followed
by the catechists with us: "You are either with me or against me... or
me or nothing, the “way” or death.
I am badly wounded but alive. And while I live, I'll speak my heart out.