Wednesday, September 27, 2017


Note: In light of the La Stampa fairy tale, we are reposting this post by Bob from Aug 25, 2016.)

Posted by Bob

Once upon a time there was a priest named Apuron who really liked little boys. The boys grew up and a few of them told everyone about Apuron, who although he never grew up, became an Archbishop. Apuron took on the mafia, Mark Brown (formerly of Trump Casinos), a powerful Chinese consortium, prostitution, crime, drugs, the brown tree snake and the rhinoceros beetle. Had it not been for Apuron's catechist, Father Pius, (and the little boys who grew up) we'd never have known of all Apuron's wonderful works--works so great that one day Apuron will be on par with Blessed Diego Luis de San Vitores, i. e. according to Father Pius.

Well, not really live but not on Guam either.  

Above the marquee is satire. Repeating, it's satire.  What follows is not satire but it's really hard to tell the difference.

Krystal Paco of KUAM TV News did an email interview with Pius.
Here's one of Krystal's questions:

Will the guarantors listed on the Deed Restriction for the RMS be obedient to the Pope's directive to give back the Yona property? If not, will the new owners be seeking legal action? If so, on what grounds?

Here's part of Pius' answer:
"Imagine that in nearby Saipan the powerful Chinese consortium Imperial Pacific, headed by Mark Brown (former CEO of Trump Casinos and then of Sheldon Casinos) invested seven billions dollars to develop a Casino there! Imagine the interests! People may kill for much less that that.

But Saipan was just a detour, because they wanted to invest in Guam with its enticing two millions tourists every year. But in Guam all has been blocked until now by archbishop Apuron, who always fought against establishing casinos and bringing more mafia, prostitution, crime, drugs.  So clearly, if there are interests of this kind, the first thing is to destroy the Archbishop.

One day, when all this has passed, they will rediscover the valor of this Archbishop and the historians will add a chapter to the evangelize [sic] of this Island, an important chapter which will be added to the chapter written by Blessed Diego Luis de San Vitores."

This is NOT satire folks. IT'S NOT SATIRE! Those are Pius' actual  words!    


Citizens of JungleWatch Nation are accustomed to seeing pictures of people featured in JW posts. I'll spare you the discomfort of having to even glance at Pius before you can avert your eyes. Instead, featured are two of the more notable "products" of what Pius referred to in Krystal's interview as, " of the most powerful instruments to fight the devil..." i.e. his RMS Seminary.

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