Tuesday, June 7, 2016

LOVE LETTER FROM ADRIAN THE ASS


http://www.aganaarch.org/

General Decree of the Ordinary

Concerning the Group So-Called “Concerned Catholics of Guam”For the People in and of the Archdiocese of AganaIn the Territory of Guam

Prot. N. 2016-028
June 5, 2016
WHEREAS The group calling itself Concerned Catholics of Guam, established within the Archdiocese of Agana and purporting to be an association of the faithful therein, has, as an organization conducted itself in the following way:
Setting itself to recruit, by membership or other representation, members of the faithful of this Archdiocese, under the guise of promotion of public worship, Christian virtue, and charitable endeavor without having been erected by competent ecclesiastical authority (c.301 §1);
Assuming the name and usage of the term “Catholic” without the consent of competent ecclesiastical authority, as required by law (c. 300);
Actively promoting opposition, both ad hoc and organized, public and private, to legitimate acts of ecclesiastical governance placed by the Ordinary or those acting in his name (c. 1373);
Instigating manifest and public opposition to the Ordinary, with whom they are obliged to preserve communion (c. 209);
Soliciting and disseminating fraudulent or otherwise malicious allegations against the person of the Ordinary (c. 220);
AND WHEREAS Membership, promotion, or direction of such a society is manifestly detrimental to the communion of the faithful in this archdiocese, the good of souls, and to ecclesiastical discipline;
AND WHEREAS The law provides the general principle that membership of such societies is constituted a delict (c. 1374);
AND WHEREAS It is proper to the office of the Ordinary, as the competent ecclesiastical authority, that this above cited canon be applied to such societies within the territory as seems prudent and necessary to the Ordinary, by means of particular law
BE IT THEREFORE KNOWN, EX DECRETUM GENERALIUM, The group calling itself Concerned Catholics of Guam is, hereby, established as a prohibited society under the particular law of this archdiocese.
CONSEQUENTLY All members of the faithful in and of this archdiocese, clerical or lay, are to:
  • Avoid association with this organization;
  • Refrain from signing, or otherwise promoting, acts or other measures of that organization;
  • Renounce membership, or any other position, within that organization;
  • Refrain from speaking, publicly or privately, on behalf of that organization.
THIS IS ESTABLISHED AS PARTICULAR LAW IN AND FOR THIS DIOCESE by means of this Decree and shall take effect on midnight on Tuesday, June 14, 2016 (cc. 8, 29).
Such members of the faithful in and of this archdiocese who have heretofore retained membership in this group are paternally and pastorally urged to renounce such membership and avoid the organization, until such time as it be reconciled to competent ecclesiastical authority and this law be repealed.
Given on the 5th day of June, 2016.
Servus tuus,
/s/ Most Rev. Anthony Sablan Apuron, OFM Cap., D.D.
Archbishop of Agana
/s/ Rev. Adrian Cristobal
Chancellor

87 comments:

  1. Really? This is from brother tony? Some healing he's suppose to be promoting. What a crackerjack. He needs to go play with the rest of his monkeys on the hill. I've lost all respect for brother tony.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is stupid.

    Easy fix for everyone part of CCOG: shut it down and put an end to the group.

    Then open up another group, call it something else and use the same mission points.

    ReplyDelete
  3. what on earth?? these so-called leaders are out of control. i hope archbishop hon will do a thorough housecleaning.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Someone shared a pic on FB of Arch Hon on GUAM concelebrating a Mass with Apuron. I wonder how objective Hon will be? We can not let our guard down.

      Delete
    2. You are correct anon at 12.52, Hon has been very, very supportive of the NCW, he is also the right hand of Filoni, who is probably the most influential Kiko backer at the Vatican. The two of them control one of the most powerful secretariat there.

      It is therefore perplexing to figure why Filoni recommended that temporary appointment.

      Scenario #1 : Francis is so upset, he demanded to put someone powerful to clean up house. So Filoni sent his trusted sidekick.

      Scenario#2 : The Pressure has been so Strong, coming from the Department of State;that keepingthe issue under the rug is no longer an option for Filoni, despite the pleas from Genarrini and Kiko. So Filoni sent his trusted sidekick.

      *[A special note here: while the Luis scandal was basically under control here on Guam, the hiding of Luis in Qatar, and the subsequent mail exchange between Chuck White, Bishop Ballin, myself and the respective nuncios, had a very big ripple effect in Rome, and was not taken lightly by the Department of State and the Pope. So when the first official allegations started arriving in writing to the nuncio, before they were made public, it is rumored Francis had quite a tantrum.]

      In both Scenario, Filoni has been put on the spot, which is something he does not like.
      His friendship with Kiko is not to be proven anymore, it is a matter for the record.

      He is now under pressure by another secretariat, which is a lot more neutral regarding the NCW, and which is very anti-pedophile. ( Also a matter of record.)

      So we will discover very soon, what mission Filoni gave to Hon.

      His approach, regarding the administration of the Chancery, his willingness to investigate the accusations, and his relationship with the priests on the island, including the newly minted presbyters, shall be very telling.

      If he waltzes in Guam, thinking he is in Asia, he will be bitterly disappointed, and will hit a wall. The faithful of Guam are not Asians from Hong Kong, Taiwan or China, who fall nicely in line when told to do something...
      Chamorros and Guamenians are very susceptible, when people try to boss them around.

      In this case, actions will speak really louder than words. Hon knows he is under scrutiny by the secretariat of State. One misstep, and they will not let him forget about it. Plus it might tarnish the reputation of Filoni as well.

      So while they both are close to Kiko, they are not about to jump under a Bus to please him.

      My prediction is that he will try to smooth the bumps on the road, do some cosmetic improvement, and try to save as much as possible for the NCW, while throwing us a few bones.

      Pius and Genarrini will put all the pressure they can to have one of their candidate to replace Apuron. (but recommendations still have to go through the Nuncio, officially)

      No matter what, Apuron's goose is cooked. How graciously he gets out, will depend on what Pius whisper into his ears.

      Better keep your seat belts on, the ride is going to be interesting.

      Delete
  4. What exactly does this mean? What will happen to me if I don't denounce the CCOG?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You will become not a follower of the fools on the hill.

      Delete
  5. Is there a consequence to not adhering to this decree? Not sure if I caught that. Will the members have to sit in the back of every church or something?

    ReplyDelete
  6. He wants to use Canon Law 1373 to have everyone excommunicated. oh my.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They should have scrolled down a bit:

      "Can. 1377 A person who alienates ecclesiastical goods without the prescribed permission is to be punished with a just penalty."

      Delete
    2. What is a "just penalty" do you think? Will they have to listen to the Archbishop's Christmas CD or something?

      Delete
    3. Ouch! That's not a penalty, that's cruel and unusual punishment! LOL!!

      Delete
    4. Too hilarious 12:50 PM -- ROTFLMFAO! Good one!

      Delete
  7. And where does it say, "Against my Constitutional Rights as a US Citizen"?....ohhhhh....I'm scared!

    Adrian just shove it were the sun never shines!

    God hears my conversations and prayers outside the Cannon Laws!

    ReplyDelete
  8. How ironic. Apuron and Adrian cite Canon Law 220 which states "No one is permitted to harm illegitimately the good reputation which a person possesses nor to injure the right of any person to protect his or her own privacy." By this very statement then the Archbishop, Adrian, OJ, Larry Claros and Deacon Tenorio are all guilty of violating 220 for calling the victims liars. I LOVE IT. idiots.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Which is worse....be silent and have your parish ransacked by the NEO Cult or support LFM in the fight for truth, transparency and the end to the KAKA filled madness. I take the highroad. Bring it on!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm with you - Gi Hagat!

      Delete
    2. This has nothing to do with the Neo.

      Delete
    3. ANON@12:32
      Thank you for your confirmation that NEO-Cult Zombies continue to act the way they do because they are too drunk with KAKA.

      Delete
    4. And Yes ANON@12:32am, this has everything to do with your KAKA Filled NEO-Cult. All the problems outside Brother Tony's continuous web of lies and pedophilia, are stemmed from the illicit activities of the NCW and their abuse of parish resources. We don't mind you practicing your religion; we do mind when your monopolizing our resources. Build your own church.

      Delete
  10. The newly prohibited society's website is here: http://concernedcatholicsofguam.org

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ummmm I'm going to politely say SHOVE IT. I will say and support whom I want. Ex communicate me then your ass! If standing up against corruption and pedophelia warrants my ex communication THEN GOOD RIDDANCE !!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. OMG.I'm quaking in my boots. Lol. Doesn't Apuron get it? He has lost all moral authority in this archdiocese. People do not care or believe what he says anymore?

    ReplyDelete
  13. He will use the Church at all cost to protect his sinful ass.

    ReplyDelete
  14. The Dickheads issue a decree typical of Dicktators. LOL What a freaking joke!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Does this hold water since we now have a temp?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Tim, is this one of the big things that are happening today that you mentioned in the kuam Video? Please clarify.

    ReplyDelete
  17. The decree is dated June 05th (a sunday). Why a sunday?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But it doesn't take effect until the 14th. What?

      Delete
    2. He wasn't busy; he didn't have to give communion or visit the sick at the hospitals or anywhere else; he didn't need to give ministry in the prison; he didn't need to do anything else after the Sunday brunch; he didn't need to ..........

      Delete
  18. Talking about midnight appointees. This is midnight decree.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wow. So Cultish. So Nazi Germany. Heil Hitler!

    ReplyDelete
  20. BRING IT BUDDY.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Do I have to give back my membership card and decoder ring? I spent 17 hours learning the super secret handshake! Dang!! What a waste of time!!! Oh well, I might as well join the NCW. Bye guys. It's been nice chatting with you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Use the front door..the back door is reserved for sodomites. Adahi i daganmu Andrew.

      Delete
  22. Because Adrian needed something to do on Sunday; his "Call to Joy's" are on Saturday's so he wasn't busy...

    ReplyDelete
  23. Apparently using the name Catholic without his royal pervertedness permission is not allowed.
    Therefore, I hereby decree that the new name for people who wish to voice their disdain at the idiots on the hill shall be changed forthwith to the following:

    Faithful Under the Control of Kiko Oppose Foreign Frauds.

    I know its a long name, so we'll just use the acronym - FUCKOF?

    Is that okay with you now brother tony?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not expert in canon law, but that particular law is applied when an organization or institution claims to be "Catholic" in a diocese. CCOG is "catholics," not Catholic as in the Church.

      Sorta like how Warner Bros. sued the Marx Brothers for copyright infringement over their movie "A Night in Casablanca" just after "Casablanca" came out. The Marx Brothers then sued Warner Bros for copyright infringement over the word "Bros."

      Delete
  24. The only legitimate way to silence the opposition is to engage in a dialogue, CCOG tried several times without success to meet with Apuron and as many times ignored. Tommy Tanaka to Archdiocese, your group will be the last people to deny me of my Faith. Good Luck, Make your next move, I dare you!!!!!!!! You have lost the Moral Authority to issue edicts. Here is my address to send your official notice to

    Thomas V.C. Tanaka,
    220 South Rt. 4,
    Ste. 104, Tanaka Bldg.,
    Hagatna, Guam 96910

    ReplyDelete
  25. It reeks of a typical NCW tactic. They bark orders and the followers are supposed to obey. Followers of the NCW have few rights and I guess they feel they can impose that way of thinking on the rest of the laity. Now they are prohibiting freedom of speech to the laity belonging to the CCOG and next they will prohibit you from visiting family on the mainland without permission, which is what got me started on my research of this NCW insanity. If this is what the Roman Catholic Church is all about, excommunication will not be necessary; people will be walking away faster than they already are.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Obviously written by a lawyer, trained in legal speak. Whereas language is used in memorandums of understanding/agreement. Does this hold water with the appointment of Archbishop Hon? At face value the document is a prelim to excommunication. Ironically it indicts the fools on the hill.
    St. Michael the Archangel protects us!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Janet B - MangilaoJune 7, 2016 at 1:08 PM

    My my. There is certainly an awful lot going on today. The dictator seems to have plenty of time on his hands now that he has no job. I do love the video where he reminds us of who he is.

    By the way, brother tony, does the S stand for Stalin? Your actions bear a remarkable resemblance. Enjoy Rome, and do us a favor and stay there. I hear we're getting a real leader!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Now I definitely want to join the CCOG!

    ReplyDelete
  29. I am a Catholic, I am a Catholic, I am a Catholic, I am a Catholic, I am a Catholic, I am a Catholic, I am a Catholic, I am a Catholic, I can go on and on and on and on and on. I still feel the same Tony boy, Adriano, Edilvado, Rizal, Deacon Tenorio, I STILL FEEL THE SAME AND I AM A CATHOLIC!!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Why Sunday? Because he was still the active Ordinary on Sunday but not today.

    Wow. This is something, and for myself, I'm going to say something unpopular.

    Until he is no longer the Ordinary and his authority no longer sufficient to issue or enforce this, then to violate it seems morally risky to me at best. Appeal certainly, and while I don't give a damn about any moral authority of his (as in, I wouldn't piss on him if he were on fire), nevertheless while apostolic succession is a reality, then that authority remains, and unless we are to become de facto Protestants who shun ecclesial authority bc of their horrible abuse of power (like that dicknuts Luther did), we have to bear this in mind patiently.

    They WANT Tim and Gerry and a lot of the rest of us excommunicated, or even just receiving an interdict that requires us to abstain from the sacraments. It would never ever ever stand and be the biggest media disaster in the world for the Church on an international scale (imagine this headline in Le Monde and the Times: “Church Excommunicates Catholics for Accusing Pedophile Bishop”). But it would also be the most painful thing I can imagine in my own life. Faithful priests have been silenced in the past, even put in prison, only to become saints and cardinals later. Courage no matter what you decide.

    This edict does nothing to silence anyone. It just attempts to give them an angle by which to leverage control. The Church long ago stopped being about faith, hope, and love for Pius and his disciples. It’s about power—a doctrine he speaks well with the voice of his master the devil.

    Still, I may be wrong on how to proceed, and rather hope I am. Tim and Frenchie, I'm all ears.

    Yes, it is an egregious abuse of power, but my sense of this that if we resist the edict and give the Ordinary the big F.U., then Apuron and Adrian are given ammunition to say to those over them, "See, these are a stiff-necked people. I've done nothing wrong; they are merely malicious and obedient.

    It's all lies of course. But a more terrifying thought occurs to me. He's gone beyond oppressing his own faithful. He's declared war on his own flock. Bishop Sheen used to say that priests don't abandon their priesthood bc they are greedy; they abandon it bc they cease to believe in the Eucharist. One look at Pius, Apuron, and Adrian--not just their sacrilegious meal but their lives and authority in action--proves this is the case.

    My the Suffering Lord forgive them. Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ok, since I posted this 10 minutes ago, I saw that another person has come forward. I don't change what I said above, but I'd like to add this: if Pope Francis and Hon and all the others sweep all this under the rug, then no one should sonde why SSPX and the Orthodox are getting so many converts from among us.

      Delete
    2. REALLY?!...And the knee jerk reactions continues...It MUST be TRUE...YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID NO MATTER WHAT DECREE IS ISSUED! Oh...And an Edict can only be issued, from what I understand, from the "CHAIR". Sorry, AAA is not in the "CHAIR" nor is Adrian.

      Delete
    3. He was on the date of issue. That's enough.

      If Hon has any sense, he'll get here fast and lift any edict against anyone.

      Delete
  31. The only good, great thing that happen during this very sad period of history for the Guam Catholic Church is this event only strengthen our Faith. Holy Spirit will continue to protect the Church till the end times.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Theres a sign up for membership? Show how much i don't know. :(

    ReplyDelete
  33. I hereby denounce my membership in the CCOG - Concerned Catholics of Guam - and announce my new membership in the VCCOG - Very Concerned Catholics of Guam. (awaiting new decree)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha. too funny. sign me up!

      Delete
    2. I second your emotion. VVVCCOG.

      Delete
  34. Adrian, whereas your ASS, you dipshit! The NCW fraudulently pose as Catholics. Excommunicate yourself and your Neo buddies first.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Concerned Faithful of Guam (CFOG)?

    ReplyDelete
  36. it would be fun to take this decree line by line and see how far the sun does shine or does not! haha!

    ReplyDelete
  37. i see chickens running around at the hill without heads! ai-a-dai!

    ReplyDelete
  38. BE AFRAID!...BE VERY AFRAID!...OF THE CCOG! LOL! YUP THIS DECREE SAYS IT ALL! WHOEVER DID THIS MUST BE DRUNK!

    ReplyDelete
  39. This joke of a “decree” is like getting a decree from a murderer’s accomplice! You do know don't you, Anthony Apuron and Adrian Cristobal, that The 6th Commandment of God which reads: “Thou shall not kill” is not just limited to crimes of physical murders but also refers to "the killing and murdering" of an individual’s character and reputation but especially, it is the crime of the murder and destruction of a human being’s God-given dignity and sanctity! Everyone is created and made in the Image and Likeness of God -- so are altar boys!

    The victims of physical murder at least, aren't around to endure any level of physical or mental suffering after their physical death; but victims of sexual abuse, molestation and sodomy have to carry this heavy, destructive, mental anguish and pain which is a psychological demise they will endure for as long as they live!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Maria Faustina OrallesJune 7, 2016 at 4:15 PM

    who the hell gives two pieces of sh*t what those morons on the hill have to do or say? this document is a list of instructions what the CCOG and supporters should do - the exact opposite.

    adrian, david, juicer, archbishop just shut the f*ck up and go to hell. nobody with even 10% working brain minds a damn thing you say. your days are over.

    what do the young ones say now? bye felicia!

    really shut the f*ck up. don't be emboldened because Hon is here or coming here. the international media is watching now and they're not stupid like you all are. too bad there is a fence around the bell tower in basilica you all could have jumped to save yourselves the public inquiry and outcry.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Just as the ncw’s and other protestant religion’s form and norm of distributing and receiving communion an illegitimate and unauthentic form and manner of distributing and receiving the Real Presence of Jesus in the Consecrated Host in Holy Communion and in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, so is this so-called “decree” an outlandish, invalid, worthless, unbinding, non-credible, useless, illusory, dishonest, unconscionable, preposterous, nonsensical and a crackpot-ish “decree”!

    I don’t even WANT TO, NEED TO nor HAVE TO read it since it comes from “the NCW”-- which itself, should be “decreed null and void and decreed out of existence”!

    ReplyDelete
  42. No doubt they are trying to think of how to get silence Jungle Watch (Tim Rohr) and all those who post here next. Another Decree?

    ReplyDelete
  43. Now that apuron's secrets are out, does this mean Adrian and the other blackmailers no longer have a hold on apuron?

    ReplyDelete
  44. You can take your decree and shove it up your a$$. Oh...now we are going to suffer? Get real! I spent 26 years in the Army fighting for my kids future and you think this decree is going to change my life? Get out of your religious society and get into reality!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Is there no end to the absurdity of those in the Chancery? Just when I think they can't do anything more malicious and desperate, they pull out another unfounded claim. I believe this is an attempt to instill fear upon those of us who have spoken out against the archbishop. As laity, we have every right to stand up to injustices and heresies that we've witnessed. And we don't need the permission of those who drink from the kaka kool aid to call ourselves Catholic. This latest declaration just proves how far down the rabbit hole these people have fallen, and when I say "these people," I'm referring to those who have played any role in the press releases issued by the Chancery. These press releases, by the way, are the laughing stock of so many people, including the media.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Wonder how they determined that CCOG is a "prohibited society" when the fools on the hill never even talked to their officers, when the officers requested to talk to Apuron about what they can do to help him! I think they looked in the mirror and saw CCOG?! What goes around comes around. This decree is going to boomerang back to the fools on the hill and their "associates" in the Ylig Valley hotel. You are the ones violating your own sexual abuse policy; provision of Canon Law requiring consent to alienate the Ylig Valley Hotel to the NCW. Everything they say on the Hill reflects on themselves! Apuron was cleaning up the Church, that is why the CCOG and Tim Rohr are attacking him?!! Go fly a kite! These guys on the hill are narcissists. They cannot see any wrong in what they do. Archbishop Hon, please get rid of them and remove all of them from any position of authority, including Apuron, who is a disgrace to our Church.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Can he do this? I thought he was archbishop only in name for the time being?

    ReplyDelete
  48. How ridiculous and absurd to put out this decree!! Apuron's crimes are being revealed already so what is there to hide? Unless this gets much worse...and they know it will. How else can we explain this desperation? Their recent actions-the decree, Deacon Tenorio video with fist pumping, declarations of denial, video from the Vatican, and threats to sue are all acts of desperation!!! A very sad state to be in. There should be no fear if there is no reason to fear.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Joseph A. SantosJune 7, 2016 at 9:21 PM

    So now Adrain can excommunicate Catholics. The only thing that is Reverend about Adrain is his end. Wonder if AAA played with it?

    ReplyDelete
  50. Joseph A. SantosJune 7, 2016 at 9:24 PM

    Welcome to Guam Archbishop Hon, please shit can this decree so we can know what direction the church is really going. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GWHS JROTC SAI Captain Santos. Great sign on the back of your truck. GFY

      Delete
    2. Thank You Joseph Santos for protecting our children! You should teach May Llanes (retired teacher) what a teacher should do in the event a child is sexually abused. BIBA "Silent No More"!

      Delete
  51. This decree only works for their NEO members. They are threatened by it. NEO members, you all work hard to make a living and you allow these people to control your life! This is not North Korea or China where the government controls their life. These people are using "religion" to control you. Really? A decree? Not even the law or court system recognizes this decree.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Why would any real Catholic wish to remain in communion with an Ordinary who is the manifestation of pure evil? The Church should offer no shelter to Tony for his crimes against God and humanity. He belongs up at DOC and made to share a cell with the worst that we got and be tormented everyday for the rest of his natural life.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Child molester or pedophiles, what does that have to do with being a Catholic. It don't matter if you're the President, Governor, judge, Bishop, Democrat, Chamorro, etc., if you molest a child, you're going down. No one is above the law. Pedophiles have no profile....it can be anyone! NEO - 99% of the island know that TONY is guilty! You are less than 1%. You can survey for yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  54. - Adrian - You actually wrote this and expect people to tremble in their shoes? You Are A Joke and Everyone Around is Falling Down Laughing! What were you drinking? I know that the water on Guam cannot be that contaminated or maybe yes where you live. Excommunicate Catholics because of YOU think that they should be? Who Are You but a pimple on someone's ........! How about Your BISHOP with his unforgivable crimes - Hugs and Kisses All Around! I Am Catholic - I Am Catholic - I Am Catholic!

    ReplyDelete
  55. Persona non Katoliko? Katoliko hu para siempre! Further, there is no competent ecclesial authority in the Archdiocese of Agana!

    ReplyDelete
  56. Since I have been ordered to stay away from the CCOG and I really don't want to join the NCW, I have decided to branch out on my own.

    Announcing the establishment of a new lay movement within the church:

    The Novacamachomenal Path (NCP)

    The Novacamachomenal Path, also known as the Novacamachomenate, NCP or, colloquially, The Path, is an organization within the church dedicated to the Christian formation of people. It was formed in Guam in 2016 by Andrew Camacho, a disgruntled and disgusted (some would say disgusting) catholic.

    To be continued............

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Where can we sign up Andrew?

      Delete
    2. I am "WALKING" along side of you, Brother Andrew. If you allow women to sing along as we walk in your path my wife wants to join too.

      Esta.

      Delete
  57. As soon as Archbishop Hon arrives, he should be requested to revoke this decree pending further investigation.

    He should also be asked to immediately stop spending Archdiocesan funds on the mainland law firm preparing the punitive lawsuit of Archbishop Apuron.

    ReplyDelete
  58. The Novacamachomenate Path Part Two: Invitation to Jive

    On the fourth Sunday of every even numbered month during a non-leap year, or the third Sunday of every odd numbered month during a leap year, except when there occurs two full moons in said month in which case it shall be on the second Sunday of the month, a member of the NCP will interrupt a Sunday worship service in a Guam church and present the Invitation to Jive.

    The Invitation to Jive calls the faithful to attend nightly meetings in which singing and dancing is shared among the attendees. The meetings last approximately nine hours. However a person may be excused after five hours with a valid note from a cardiac or neurosurgeon.

    To be continued..........

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can see now that before I joined the Path, I had a naturalistic sense of rhythm - my whole family would bump into each other as we walked down the street, so poor was our timing...and we were only a threepiece then.

      Now, thanks to the miracle of the Path, God has brought us into a full twelve piece ensemble with a horns section, and though I'm only at the tamborine phase (the first rung), minim by minim, my rhythm is becoming more Christian.

      I hope one day to "jump up" (spin around and do the splits) and offer myself as a candidate in the RSM (the Rad Music School).

      The Novacamachomenate saved me and my family!

      Delete
  59. The Novacamachomenate Path Part Three: Scrutiny

    During the course of trudging through the Path members undergo a number of scrutinies. The number varies from member to member, depending on how screwed up they are. It can range from one scrutiny to approximately 97, give or take a few (more take than give).

    The Primary Scrutiny (sometimes called Scru-U-tiny) consists mostly of demonstrations of physical strength and endurance (weight lifting, triathlon, tightrope walking, and the like). Those who pass the primary scrutiny are rewarded with a happy meal and get to play "toss the check book in the bin." Those who fail the primary scrutiny are taken into the woods for a little lecture.

    ReplyDelete

Recommendations by JungleWatch