Saturday, February 15, 2014

JungleWatch. JungleWatch. JungleWatch! Aaaaaaaaggggghhhhhh!

Out of charity I probably shouldn't post the comments I received this afternoon. They do such a discredit to most of the people in the Neocatechumenal Way, who, as we have often said, want nothing other than to deepen their faith, and have no idea of the waywardness of their leadership. 

But when I don't post their inanities they get so spit-fleckled angry (fleckled is a Shakespearean term) that I fear they will soil themselves even more egregiously. So perhaps the more charitable thing to do is to grant their druthers and accommodate their rages. And so I shall.

It has actually been a calm past day and a half. I was thinking that my posts on the Presbyter Conspiracy and the Kiko-conception of the "eschatological banquet" as justification for his anomalous distribution of the sacred species, along with Chuck White's scholarly delve into the kiko-ology of natural religiosity, might have been a little much for our usual pack of haters. 

But at about 2:30 this afternoon, at my son's soccer game, my phone began going off with numerous dings, notifying me that a multitude of anonymous neos had something they wanted to say. A quick glance evinced the usual vindictive spittle: shut up, you're stupid, you're irrelevant, your blog is pathetic, you don't know what the hell you're talking about, go away, and in the words of the King Yul of Siam: "etcetera, etcetera, etcetera."

Doing a quick soul search, I decided my son's soccer game was more important, put the phone with its dinging neo notifications back in my pocket (the back one), and cheered as he scored a goal, a clear sign that I "hath chosen the better portion." 

But now that I am nestled in my thinker's chair, located upon the wide terrace of my hilltop estate, watching the sun fade into the sea and accompanied by a fine glass of the fruit of the vine, I shall turn to said spit-fleckled subjects and grant them their posts, and yes, of course with the requisite commentary so that you, dear reader, may understand why commenting on said posts with a post of my own is such a cathartic diversion from the rigors of business - which has been thriving by the way! (Smiley face here.)

The occasion for the aforementioned barrage of dinging neo-notifications was the announcement that Archbishop Chaput had been called to Rome by il Papa to join the Pontifical Council of the Laity. Chaput is seen as a Neo-sympathizer and the Council of the Laity is tasked with dealing with the Neo. 

As you might expect, this was seen by our usual pack of haters as vindication: a sign that the Pope loves the Neo, and that the days of JungleWatch are numbered. Here is a little sampling. Excuse the horrible English:

The significance of this appointment of the Archbishop of Philadelphia to Rome signifies it is time for you to stop splashing in your own little puddle... The holy father (sic - should be capitalized) realizes the importance of these movements of the lady (sic - should be laity) in the church. - Anonymous February 15, 2014 at 2:23 PM

ATTENTION THOSE WHO DO NOT APPRECIATE THE NCW!! H the holy father (sic - not sure what the H is for and holy father should be capitalized) has called to Rome the Archbishop of Philadelphia. He is a very supportive bishop of the neo-catechumens all way (sic - all the way?) in Philidelphia (sic) and Denver. The holy father (sic) Francis wants to evangelize through the movements in the church using the laity more than clerics. (sic - period added)Anonymous February 15, 2014 at 2:20 PM

One Anonymous Neo copies the words of an interview with Chaput: 

I’ve seen the fruitfulness of lay ecclesial movements throughout my ministry as a bishop. I also served for many years in Rapid City and Denver. These are big dioceses with few priests, and working closely with laypeople is essential. Even in Philadelphia, where we have a large and wonderful presbyterate, the Church needs more lay leadership. One of the passions of Pope Francis is evangelization. In today’s world that requires a committed, faithful laity. So I think I share his concern in encouraging lay men and women to see themselves in a new way – not as passive consumers of the Gospel, but as active agents. - Anonymous February 15, 2014 at 2:33 PM

As I said, these comments from the usual suspects, so anxious to damn us, are, well, so fun. I wonder how a psychiatrist would analyze them? Let's take a shot.
  • Because it had been quiet for a day or two, I thought that maybe the usual JungleWatch parasites had actually begun to listen to their catechists and stopped playing in the Jungle. But alas, with the first sign of something they thought they could beat us with, there they were: Out from there hiding places in the jungle with their bow and arrows and poison-tipped spears!
  • Of course, the fact that they were only hiding in the Jungle the last day or two, looking for an opportunity to pounce, tells us that they are fixated with this blog, drunk with it in fact, captivated like bugs to a blue light. They can't go away. It gnaws at them. They wake up at night and check the blog. "What's he saying now?" They think it, dream it, sleep-walk it. JungleWatch. JungleWatch. JungleWatch!
  • And why are they fixated? Because they fear what is here. Fear! Fear! Fear! "What's he gonna say next?" How does he know that stuff? Their fear is exponentially compounded into terror because they have never had to deal with with facts, documents, evidence! Nobody has ever held them accountable to their own rules. No one has ever exposed their own violations with blatant evidence of their own violations. Sleep. Can't. Check the blog. 

JungleWatch. JungleWatch. JungleWatch! 
  • And such exposure has pushed them into ever more maddening exegeses of the liturgical books to the point where we now have their high-priestess, Diana, postulating and pontificating that congregants are in fact concelebrants and thus rightly wait to consume the host until all have received: "Yes, we are considered concelebrants."

But more blatantly obvious from the above posted comments is the evidence of what most of us unsalted Catholics have known all along: that the neocats - or at least these guys - think that they're the only game in town, that they are the "laity" the pope and Chaput are talking about, that they are the only "faithful, committed laity", that Chaput was brought to Rome to validate Kiko and the neocats, that but for them, the church has no future. 

So JungleWatchers "stop splashing in your own little puddle." "You see, WE are the chosen ones, the elect, the salted. You are nothing, Judases, persecutors. Shut up! Sit down! We are the Church. You are trash."

Such messages of love, don't you think? Don't such comments make you want to join the Way? to give your life to Kiko? to submit to the nearest catechist? No? Why you unsalted Judas, you! You should be cast out into the darkness to wail and gnash your teeth!, you!

The gleeful vehemence of the neo-response to the Chaput appointment stands in stark contrast to their non-response to Francis' February 1 address to the Neos in Rome: crickets! Francis, after staring incredulously at the 10 minute long Kiko show, got up and gave a rather serious lashing to the Way, admonishing them to put Church unity first, to put their practices second and the Church first, to put the culture of the people first and their Kiko-culture second. 

No pope, not even Benedict, had spoken more severely to the Neos, and what did we hear from them? If not the pope's kinder remarks of gratitude, then....crickets...only crickets. But Francis brings Chaput to Rome and it's the freaking Second Coming. Funny.

Funnier still though is the sudden disappearance of the neocat aversion to being called a "movement". Kiko went to great lengths to not have his movement called a "movement". The Church itself had to go to great lengths to figure out what the hell to call it. 

They settled on the word "itinerary". Fine, but suddenly our mad neocats are all gaga about being one of the ecclesial movements referenced by Chaput. Of course, even saying "one of" is incorrect in their eyes. They are THEE movement. There is no other! And Chaput was called to Rome by the pope himself to shutdown JungleWatch and excommunicate that damn Tim Rohr!

But of course, technically speaking, Chaput wasn't referring to the Way at all. Technically speaking, and as Kiko worked so hard to make sure, the Way is NOT a movement. So looks like he wasn't talking about you after all. (Smiley face here.)

But seriously (this is to the good neos), you really ought to call the dogs off. Their pinhead eruptions are indeed entertaining but at JungleWatch we really need to spend more time on other things: like the illegal $75 million dollar transfer of property away from the people of the Archdiocese of Agana. We'll get back to that one soon. 

PS. To the dingdong who was snorting pepsi through his nasal passages upon reading the post KIKO VS NATURAL RELIGIOSITY and chose to mock me saying he didn't realize that I had "studied at the right hand of God." Hey dingdong, the post was written by Chuck White, not me. But then you probably read as well as you write. However, Chuck will accept the compliment. Wipe your nose. 


  1. While reading this post, I couldn't help but laugh. The mere mention of the word "GOATS" took me back to a trip I made to Nebraska . Guess what interested me the most on the farm.....KIKOGOATS!

    1. Abraham left his fathers place and started walking. , I ask you to pray for the six young men who have come from afar and committed their lives to serving the Church here in the Philadelphia region. Hint, hint, Frenchie smart talking guy...Chaput did make rms in Philidelphia. He didn't say NCW thee only way he says one of the strongest. Small thinking for big ideas on Vativan with Pope Francesco!

    2. Your statement makes no sense whatsoever. Are you quoting someone? I'm not going to assume what you are saying but Frenchie's comments make more sense so I suggest you reread it. Hint hint to you: if you want people to be sympathetic to your cause, learn to communicate properly and respectfully. I think the "smart talking guy" comment was not a compliment.

    3. Yep, it is not original. It was taken from a newsletter. I believe it was either a quote from an incoming seminarian or Archbishop Chaput.

  2. Tim, I don't know why you waste your time responding to these neocats. No productive purpose is served attempting to enlighten them to the "truth" because their truth will never conform to the true teaching of the Catholic Faith as set forth by Our Lord Jesus Christ. Your attempt to illuminate them to the genuine truth of Catholic teaching and doctrine will only reinforce their effort to discredit and vilify you. Unless you're a gluton for punishment, I would just totally ignore them, they're not worth the effort expend all that time and energy on. Of course, if being the target of their venon brings you redemptive sufferring, I understand,

    1. As I said: cathartic diversion from the rigors of business.

    2. Seems like a lull before a storm?

  3. Always wondered if the neocatechumen members see Kiko as their Prophet?

  4. I was able to get a copy of the Barrigada San Vicente/San Ramon parish bulletin this past Sunday and lo and behold the "text" of the Holy Father speech to the NeoCat was in there with a great headline about "Pope receives and accepts NeoCats" Of course it was HEAVILY EDITED and changed to sound like Pope Francis approved (edited because of translation? or misinterpretation?) you tell me.

    1. What's new? Father Adrian needs to,protect his interest. All the publication is probably making him go off the wall.

    2. Probably didn't get the crowd for the new classes as he expected. Got to,advertise!

    3. Can you get a copy of that bulletin to Mr. Rohr? He might show it here.

  5. El Kerigma: En las Chabolas Con Los Pobres (The Kerygma: In the Slums with the Poor)

    Francisco Arguello: “Who created me? What is life? Why don’t people pose these problems to themselves? Perhaps I’m a bit mad, a narcissist, strange?'"

  6. What kind of man would have some 40,000 small communities representing just about every culture and ethnicity conform all of their their liturgical aesthetics and music to HIS artwork alone, and HIS songs alone, and at great cost to the poor. A narcissist, that's who.

    Catholics with an adult faith should FLEE this frightening cult of personality.

    1. Yes, extraordinarily narcissistic; and for that reason alone very disconcerting.