Tuesday, August 12, 2014

UH-OH!

Late Friday afternoon, sometime after 4:00 PM, the Chancery suddenly flew into a high-stress flurry of activity. An all-points-bulletin went out:

URGENT!
CONFISCATE AND DESTROY ALL COPIES OF 
THE U MATUNA!

The U MATUNA, the official newspaper of the Archdiocese of Agana, is published once a week and about 8,000 copies are usually ready for pickup by the parishes late Friday afternoon. The pickup point is a table in the garage area of the Cathedral-Basilica. 

At least three parishes had already picked up their bundles when the distress call went out to immediately return all the copies of the U MATUNA. The copies still at the pickup point were hastily removed. 

Meanwhile, an altered edition of the U MATUNA was quickly slapped together and sent to the printer for another print run, sending the PDN presses into overdrive in order to get 8,000 copies of the substitute version out before anyone could suspect that something had gone wrong...terribly wrong. 

Late Friday night, with the PDN presses cranking out the cover-up version of the U MATUNA, the Chancery Three must have breathed a sigh of relief, thinking they had recovered all of the copies of this week's first printing of the U MATUNA. 

So if you see smoke rising from the top of San Ramon Hill, it's probably 8,000 copies of the first printing of the U MATUNA burning, or should I say, 7,999.

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