Wednesday, June 29, 2016


TO: Camillo Ballin, Roman Catholic Vicar Apostolic of the Apostolic Vicariate of Northern Arabia
FR: Archdiocese of Agana
RE: Return of Lickin' Louie

Dear Bishop Ballin:

My apologies for calling you an "asshole" earlier. I underestimated you. You've been able to do in just a couple of weeks, lickety-split, what our chancery clowns, David, Adrian, and Larry Boy, have not been able to do in over a year: complete an investigation of our beloved Lickin' Louie.

I don't know how you did it, but somehow you were able to speak with the officers who arrested him in his towel-covered-window car at that deserted beach in Agat. (WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAPPEN IN AGAT?! LOL!)

And apparently you were also able to get the file from the AG's office and examine it. Well, given the AG's recent complicity in doctoring a certificate of title, I wouldn't be surprised if she fed-exed it to you pronto. 

Because you see, Bishop Ballin, interviewing the officers and/or examining Lickin' Louie's file is the only way you could have determined that "there is not a semblance of truth to the accusation" made against Lickin' Louie. 

So well done, Bishop Ballin. Your skills are impressive. However, now that you got Lickin' Louie all cleaned up for us, how about sending him back? 

According to Apuron's own directory he is still incardinated in our diocese and you have no right to keep him from us. After all, we spent tens of thousands of dollars educating him in our wonderful seminary, and thus we should not be deprived of his great skills and gifts, especially in his ministry to seventeen year old girls. 

But you know, Bishop Ballin, something still bothers me. What accusation against Lickin' Louie are you talking about? Our local idiots, Adrian, David, and Larry Boy, keep telling us that there was no accusation. Thus the only accusation on the record is Apuron's.

By immediately accepting Lickin' Louie's resignation, stripping him just as immediately of his faculties, and sending him off into exile, it is only Apuron who has "accused" him of anything even if it is only by implication. 

Are you now willing to publicly condemn Apuron's treatment of Lickin' Louie? Obviously you have found him to be innocent while Apuron immediately found him guilty of something serious enough to warrant all those "persecutions."

Just a thought, Bishop Ballin, just a thought. But my, my, my, you apparently have such little regard for the tenuous position of the Catholic Church in your part of the world to be so cavalier about this. Maybe it's because you too believe that the Neocatechumenal Way will protect you, while everyone else "be damned." 

We've seen that sort of thing around here for quite awhile. In fact, we can smell it - even as that certain stench wafts over Guam from as far away as Qatar. Meanwhile, send Louie back. We need a new Sex Abuse Response Coordinator, and Louie has shown us he knows how to "respond." One might say he "has a nose for it!"  LOL. Bishop Ballin. Courage. Call Giuseppe. 

For more on Bishop Ballin, go here


  1. There is something not right with this picture! I am wondering why he became a "priest"! That look just does not have the look of a True Caring and Loving Catholic Priest! Was it easier to become a priest so that Catholic Church will support you for the rest of your life rather than really working for a living in the private sector? Hmmmmmm!

  2. Who is bishop Ballin ballin'? Inquiring minds want to know.

  3. Stupid us, for not getting it. The Neo's protect their own. When Neo affiliated clergies, they are shuffled to Neo friendly Diocese, to wit Wadeson on Guam. It is the good old boys club. One for all and all for one.

  4. Ballin,
    Make sure you get some lessons from Louie on those unique skills that he possesses, before you return him to us. Oh, and just for you those lessons will be for free, no charge at all to you. And Louie will surely be a more qualified SARC than Claros, he has tongue on experience.

  5. Asked Bishop Ballin a question on his website. Don't expect an answer. The deceit, lies and condescending remarks emanating from Bishops is an abuse of their office and sacramental vows.

  6. World meet Camillo Ballin, the Bishop of Gutter.

  7. Thank you Tim, for this tongue in cheek, kind of humor (pun intended)
    Bishop Ballin, is sadly another example of what a Bishop should not be.

    He is a self-serving prelate, who tries to look good every way he can.
    Mostly in shallow ways, like on his you tube grossly made videos.

    We have seen that he is very thin skin, as he is already pretending to be a victim of persecution by the likes of Chuck and some of his parishioners disgusted by his manipulations of records and of the truth.
    This latest attempt is quite pathetic and simply stupid.
    Cannot wait to have the time to write him back with copies to the appropriate authorities.
    What a buffoon.
    My family members in Abu-Dhabi had told me that much, but he is a woozy.

  8. Someone please explain to me why PDN hasn't picked up the story of Fr Luis being cleared. The whole bit about being cleared is so scandalous that it's become ridiculous.

    1. Anyone you know been questioned deeply and thoroughly by a Vatican Investigator? Any cop involved? Our Court? Chancery member? WE WANT TO KNOW WHO INVESTIGATED THIS CASE OF LUIS THE VERY GOOD BOY. This stinks to high heaven. Krebs, you got anything?? Hon? What you got? Hon let's have public question and answer right after prayer service, ok? Good idea?? We know you don't like talking, just try.

    2. Neos still think he wasn't doing anything wrong. Perhaps we can just get the police officer that found them to come out and say what he saw.

    3. Luis was tried, convicted, and sentenced by Apuron.

  9. So if you want someone to believe your lies just use Rome and Pope to vouch for you. Neos, ASA, and Ballin did it.