Why Many “Good Catholics” Are Raising Secret Pagans
Let me say something uncomfortable. Not about politicians. Not about celebrities. Not about “people of the world.” About us. Good, practicing, Sunday-going Catholics. Because sometimes the problem is not outside the Church. It is inside our homes.
Every Sunday, many families come to Mass. Well dressed. Rosary in hand. Big Bible. Front pew. “Peace be with you, Father.” Everything looks holy. But go inside some of those homes, God is a stranger there. No prayer. No catechism. No correction. No spiritual life. Nothing.
And we are surprised that our children grow up without faith? How? How will they know God? From vibes? From trends?
Let’s be honest. Many parents today want their children to be: successful connected influential rich But not necessarily holy.
So we raise “good Catholic children” outside, but pagan children inside. They know how to dress for Mass, but don’t know how to pray. They know how to say “Amen,” but don’t know what they believe. They received First Communion, but don’t know Who they received. They were confirmed, but have zero conviction. After graduation, they disappear from Church completely.
And parents say: “Father, I don’t know what happened.” You don’t know? Really? When was the last time you prayed together as a family? When last did you open the Bible at home? When last did you talk about sin, heaven, confession, or holiness? Some homes only talk about: money school business connections who offended who God only appears on Sunday morning, for one hour, then disappears again till next week. And we expect children to take faith seriously?
Children copy what we live, not what we say. If they see you: lying bribing gossiping skipping Mass easily never praying living double life But shouting “Praise the Lord” on Sunday… What do you think they are learning? They are learning that God is just decoration. Just culture. Just tradition. Not life. Not truth. Not priority. So they grow up secretly empty.
They look Catholic, but think like pagans. They believe more in money than God. More in horoscope than prayer. More in hustle than honesty. More in trends than truth. Then when life hits them, they run to anywhere for solutions. Native doctor today. Manifestation tomorrow. Random spirituality next week. Because nobody gave them roots.
Scripture says: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22,6) But many of us trained them only for school, not for heaven. Only for career, not for character. Only for success, not for salvation.
Let me speak plainly: If your child knows mathematics but doesn’t know God, something is missing. If your child can use iPhone but cannot say one sincere prayer, something is wrong. If your child fears failure but does not fear sin, we have failed somewhere. The first catechism is the home. The first catechist is the parent. The first altar is the family table. Not the parish. Not the priest. You.
So before we blame “this generation”, maybe we should look in the mirror. Because many “good Catholics” are not raising saints. We are raising baptized pagans, and that should scare us. Heaven is not inherited by tradition. It is built by formation. Start at home. Before it’s too late.
True, however, the "professional church" separates parents from their children and forces us (parents) to let the "professionals" catechize our children, which they do by holding the sacraments hostage. Translation: We are forced to turn our children over to so-called CCD where who the hell knows what they are learning, and we are made to believe that our children cannot receive the sacraments unless we acquiesce to "their" authority, not to mention handing over huge amounts of money for t-shirts and other crap. Parents have the right to educate their own children in the faith, but we are deemed too stupid to do it ourselves. The duty of pastors is to educate/catechize the parents so they can catechize their children - the was God intended.
I was surprised and grateful to hear Troy Torres' thoughts on the radio a couple nights ago and appreciative to watch the video on this site today. I felt validated that Troy recognizes the similarity between psychological abuse by lay leaders and sexual abuse by clergy and others. And the indifference by clergy toward both kinds of victims. Some out of ignorance, some because it's just easier to look away.
To clarify, Archbishop Ryan was not speaking of abuse by a lay leader in church. Rather, if I remember correctly, he was referring to a government official in Saipan who, when finding out Archbishop Ryan had just been appointed bishop, asked nastily wasn't there an equally qualified person from Saipan available. Archbishop Ryan said he had to find a place to sit down while tears rolled down his cheeks. In other words, the archbishop was conveying to me that he had, like me, been a victim of racism. Other than that comment, he did not comment further on what I had written about the abuse by lay leaders in church.
Racism does seem to be the motivation for the abuse in my current parish as one priest and 3 lay leaders made it clear that they didn't want me there from my very first attempt to get involved about 25 years ago. Over the years, the priest completely changed his opinion of me but the women lay leaders never did. In the first parish I attended, the situation was different. There were 2 very active volunteers, though not leaders, who were statesiders who were accepted. One had grown up on Guam so she had lots of connections to the community. The other had previously been a nun, so she had status. I had neither connections nor status and was obviously struggling. There were nice ladies in the parish but they were not interested in me, only the bullies. The situation was so toxic and the then pastor so indifferent that I became suicidal and went to the Lutheran Church of Guam for a year. The Lutheran Church was very welcoming but I deeply missed being a practicing Catholic. I tried attending my first parish again but nothing had changed so I transferred to my current parish.
I understand when people say to just attend church for God and the sacraments and to ignore all the church politics. But, for me, I need to be an active part of a faith community-and not the NCW version of that! It's often advised to get involved and that's what I've been trying to do for 31 years. Oddly, some priests have been intensely loving and welcoming and have let me know they really want me in the parish. Yet the same priests let lay leaders abuse me without consequences.
It's become unbearable to always be afraid when the abusive lay leaders are around because I never know what will set them off and I have to pretend things are fine. If my protest becomes more public and direct, I could lose my ministries and disappoint the saintly priest who has brought me out of my deep depression. I am disappointed and frustrated by the archbishop who is friendly but like all the rest of the clergy, wants to look away. Decades ago Archbishop Apuron helped me, reluctantly, to get some measure of justice regarding 1 of the 3 abusive lay leaders. Probably because a then-inexperienced priest took her wild story to him and, thus, got him involved. If Archbishop Apuron could help me then successfully, surely Archbishop Jimenez could help me now.
It seems that, like in the secular community, cliques exist in parish communities as well. Within these cliques, favoritism is shown, inside information is shared, more frequent social and conversational interactions made which can make new members truly feel left out and out of the loop. I have experienced this in both communities and is something in which parish communities especially need to watch out for.
There are problems because we have mixed two worlds that should not be mixed: the clerical and the lay. They have their roles and we have ours. The words sacerdotal, sacristy, sanctuary, etc. all have the same root: "sacred" - which means "set apart." We and they have violated that boundary and in so doing opened the door for demons.
Let's dig deeper :
ReplyDeleteWhy Many “Good Catholics” Are Raising Secret Pagans
Let me say something uncomfortable.
Not about politicians.
Not about celebrities.
Not about “people of the world.” About us.
Good, practicing, Sunday-going Catholics.
Because sometimes the problem is not outside the Church. It is inside our homes.
Every Sunday, many families come to Mass.
Well dressed.
Rosary in hand.
Big Bible.
Front pew.
“Peace be with you, Father.”
Everything looks holy. But go inside some of those homes, God is a stranger there.
No prayer.
No catechism.
No correction.
No spiritual life.
Nothing.
And we are surprised that our children grow up without faith?
How?
How will they know God?
From vibes?
From trends?
Let’s be honest.
Many parents today want their children to be:
successful
connected
influential
rich
But not necessarily holy.
So we raise “good Catholic children” outside, but pagan children inside.
They know how to dress for Mass, but don’t know how to pray.
They know how to say “Amen,” but don’t know what they believe.
They received First Communion, but don’t know Who they received.
They were confirmed, but have zero conviction.
After graduation, they disappear from Church completely.
And parents say:
“Father, I don’t know what happened.”
You don’t know? Really?
When was the last time you prayed together as a family?
When last did you open the Bible at home?
When last did you talk about sin, heaven, confession, or holiness?
Some homes only talk about:
money
school
business
connections
who offended who
God only appears on Sunday morning, for one hour, then disappears again till next week.
And we expect children to take faith seriously?
Children copy what we live, not what we say.
If they see you:
lying
bribing
gossiping
skipping Mass easily
never praying
living double life
But shouting “Praise the Lord” on Sunday…
What do you think they are learning?
They are learning that God is just decoration.
Just culture.
Just tradition.
Not life.
Not truth.
Not priority.
So they grow up secretly empty.
They look Catholic, but think like pagans.
They believe more in money than God.
More in horoscope than prayer.
More in hustle than honesty.
More in trends than truth.
Then when life hits them, they run to anywhere for solutions.
Native doctor today.
Manifestation tomorrow.
Random spirituality next week.
Because nobody gave them roots.
Scripture says:
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22,6)
But many of us trained them only for school, not for heaven.
Only for career, not for character.
Only for success, not for salvation.
Let me speak plainly:
If your child knows mathematics but doesn’t know God, something is missing.
If your child can use iPhone but cannot say one sincere prayer, something is wrong.
If your child fears failure but does not fear sin, we have failed somewhere.
The first catechism is the home.
The first catechist is the parent.
The first altar is the family table.
Not the parish.
Not the priest.
You.
So before we blame “this generation”, maybe we should look in the mirror.
Because many “good Catholics” are not raising saints.
We are raising baptized pagans, and that should scare us.
Heaven is not inherited by tradition. It is built by formation.
Start at home.
Before it’s too late.
Fr. Chisom
True, however, the "professional church" separates parents from their children and forces us (parents) to let the "professionals" catechize our children, which they do by holding the sacraments hostage. Translation: We are forced to turn our children over to so-called CCD where who the hell knows what they are learning, and we are made to believe that our children cannot receive the sacraments unless we acquiesce to "their" authority, not to mention handing over huge amounts of money for t-shirts and other crap. Parents have the right to educate their own children in the faith, but we are deemed too stupid to do it ourselves. The duty of pastors is to educate/catechize the parents so they can catechize their children - the was God intended.
Delete"the way God intended."
DeleteI was surprised and grateful to hear Troy Torres' thoughts on the radio a couple nights ago and appreciative to watch the video on this site today. I felt validated that Troy recognizes the similarity between psychological abuse by lay leaders and sexual abuse by clergy and others. And the indifference by clergy toward both kinds of victims. Some out of ignorance, some because it's just easier to look away.
ReplyDeleteTo clarify, Archbishop Ryan was not speaking of abuse by a lay leader in church. Rather, if I remember correctly, he was referring to a government official in Saipan who, when finding out Archbishop Ryan had just been appointed bishop, asked nastily wasn't there an equally qualified person from Saipan available. Archbishop Ryan said he had to find a place to sit down while tears rolled down his cheeks. In other words, the archbishop was conveying to me that he had, like me, been a victim of racism. Other than that comment, he did not comment further on what I had written about the abuse by lay leaders in church.
Racism does seem to be the motivation for the abuse in my current parish as one priest and 3 lay leaders made it clear that they didn't want me there from my very first attempt to get involved about 25 years ago. Over the years, the priest completely changed his opinion of me but the women lay leaders never did. In the first parish I attended, the situation was different. There were 2 very active volunteers, though not leaders, who were statesiders who were accepted. One had grown up on Guam so she had lots of connections to the community. The other had previously been a nun, so she had status. I had neither connections nor status and was obviously struggling. There were nice ladies in the parish but they were not interested in me, only the bullies. The situation was so toxic and the then pastor so indifferent that I became suicidal and went to the Lutheran Church of Guam for a year. The Lutheran Church was very welcoming but I deeply missed being a practicing Catholic. I tried attending my first parish again but nothing had changed so I transferred to my current parish.
I understand when people say to just attend church for God and the sacraments and to ignore all the church politics. But, for me, I need to be an active part of a faith community-and not the NCW version of that! It's often advised to get involved and that's what I've been trying to do for 31 years. Oddly, some priests have been intensely loving and welcoming and have let me know they really want me in the parish. Yet the same priests let lay leaders abuse me without consequences.
It's become unbearable to always be afraid when the abusive lay leaders are around because I never know what will set them off and I have to pretend things are fine. If my protest becomes more public and direct, I could lose my ministries and disappoint the saintly priest who has brought me out of my deep depression. I am disappointed and frustrated by the archbishop who is friendly but like all the rest of the clergy, wants to look away. Decades ago Archbishop Apuron helped me, reluctantly, to get some measure of justice regarding 1 of the 3 abusive lay leaders. Probably because a then-inexperienced priest took her wild story to him and, thus, got him involved. If Archbishop Apuron could help me then successfully, surely Archbishop Jimenez could help me now.
Sadly there are lay leaders who think they "own the church"
DeleteIt seems that, like in the secular community, cliques exist in parish communities as well. Within these cliques, favoritism is shown, inside information is shared, more frequent social and conversational interactions made which can make new members truly feel left out and out of the loop. I have experienced this in both communities and is something in which parish communities especially need to watch out for.
ReplyDeleteThere are problems because we have mixed two worlds that should not be mixed: the clerical and the lay. They have their roles and we have ours. The words sacerdotal, sacristy, sanctuary, etc. all have the same root: "sacred" - which means "set apart." We and they have violated that boundary and in so doing opened the door for demons.
Delete